Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sao Tome and Principe

OK, so I use Stat Counter to keep up with you guys. And there is a fun feature that lets me monitor you in real time with a map (and I can see you in your underwear too...). I see that I have readers in Scandinavia, Germany, England, Australia and across the US. I even have readers in Ukraine, Russia and a lone reader on the Isle of Man. Sometimes I give what the man in the street would call a 'shout-out'. Although when I use that exact turn of phrase I taste bile...

Excuse me. *ahem*
Anyway I have noticed that I have a mystery reader, off the coast of Ghana, Africa near Sao Tome. The only problem is that there is no land mass associated with the marker. Of course I have constructed elaborate fantasies involving oil platforms, man-made archipelagos or Bond-villain-style undersea fortresses with missiles and henchmen in silver jumpsuits but I'm curious to know the truth. Who are you, where are you reading Vexxarr from and why do you make your henchmen wear silver jumpsuits?

Actually, when you have time, I'd love for you guys to drop into our forums and send a message about where all of you readers are from and how the heck you found this comic while surfing the web in Siberia.

Yes. Seriously.

Friday, February 08, 2008

SHIRTS!

Arrived!

Soon, they will move your way!

I am SO sorry about the delay. The long wait is now a short one. I am dedicating myself to the movement of Vexxarr Merch exclusively tomorrow.

So.

If you were awaiting a shirt or a print - tomorrow is the day!

...that they ship. God knows when they will actually arrive. At least after tomorrow it won't be my fault.

Have I mentioned that I love each and every one of you?

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Catching Up

Yes, I'm overburdened with freelance work and trivial issues in my life. For those of you who have not completely abandoned me in my time of extremity, you have noticed some of my Youtube offerings. Chief among these video morsels is my old Mac Parody Crash Different. In between actual work and what little time I allot myself for food, exercise and sleep, I have been defending the veracity of the issues raised by the Mac rant. After some semantical back-and-forth, I found out that despite a finite population on this planet, some of you are seeing the damn thing for the first time. I shall repeat here what I should have said up front on my Youtube space: Crash Different is five years old. Some of the gripes I outline in that narrative have actually been addressed by Apple (shocking though that may be). SO if you have a quibble over my quibbles, try to keep them in the proper context...

...it's the internet. No one cares.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Boston vs Mooninites...FIGHT!

Let us take time to remember the Mooninite invasion of Boston one year ago wherein the mayor (Thomas M. Menino) ignored both good information and internet memes.

This is not a criticism of the Boston Police and emergency response teams who, acting on orders from the mayor, did a near perfect job of securing a huge metropolitan area and showing exactly how a coordinated response effort is supposed to unfold.

No, this is a reminder that many of or elected leaders are aging, isolated fuddy duddies who absolutely need to get out more.

Let us all recall that Boston was one of many major metropolitan areas in the US where a guerrilla marketing firm had L E D Moonanite signs posted in an effort to raise US awareness of the AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE movie to a fever pitch.

Let us recall that these guerrilla placement missions were video taped and posted online for months prior to the incident in Boston.

Let us recall that Boston Bomb authorities also detonated a traffic counting device just weeks following the event. No one was charged in this "hoax".

Let us all remember that other major metropolitan areas - Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, Philadelphia, Portland, San Francisco - all identified the objects as harmless and either removed them or left them in place.

Let us all recall that Google exists.

That said, I submit that the incident in Boston, the confusion which followed and any expenses incurred were the sole responsibility of the Mayor's Office of Boston. This is not to say that Mayor
Thomas M. Menino was necessarily wrong in activating his reaction teams. Thomas M. Menino's only mistake was not having access to a media team to research the issue with all resources available once the effort was underway.

Look folks, innocent bomb scares happen. Things get blown up by mistake. The police will, on occasion, be called for an emergency that doesn't exist. As I've stated before, just because I leave my lunch box on a park bench and the bomb squad is called out to detonate my bologna sandwich, doesn't mean the the mayor's office gets to charge me with a hoax.

The incident in Boston was a simple misunderstanding. The charges filed by the city of Boston on the individuals responsible were a simple face-saving measure. The entire event was a perfect storm of media and pop-culture un-awareness, failure to heed good information and simply living in a time of heightened awareness. In the end, Aqua Teen Hunger Force got some headline exposure, the Boston authorities got an excellent disaster drill and
Thomas M. Menino got to get out a little bit and smell the roses. Which he needs to do more often...

Bologna sandwiches will get detonated from time to time. It's no one's fault. Take it as experience and move on.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Transpermia

Sometimes I wonder if my scripts cause a wave of search traffic over at New Scientist and Wired. And if those administrators look at the traffic querying words like transpermia and gigantomachy and wonder what exactly is wrong with the world...

To them the question is merely rhetorical. I, in fact, know...

Monday, January 28, 2008

And now a word from our sponsor...

No, this isn't why today's comic is late. But if it were, it might almost be worth it.



Enjoy.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Lots of Work - Little Time

You know the drill...

I have tonnes of work and only so much waking-time. In most comic enterprises, this would result in a skipped strip and a lame apology.

Well here at www.exxarr.com we do things a little differently.
At www.vexxarr.com we give you and exceedingly weak excuse AND I make up all the due strips and back-post them to the archives.

I mean, isn't that better? It's like you get to store up my strips in your little cheek-pouches and then enjoy then - en mass if you will - later, back in your little rodent den.

Oh come now, I've seen you. Your little straw bed, your little wood-knot hole. You, reading Vexxarr while clutching a sunflower seed in your two, thumbless paws.

Makes me want to pet you all...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Assuming you guys aren't already watching all the video (that there is) on my YouTube account...MORE stupid roommate!



MY ROOMMATE THE IDIOT: BURNING ROM

Idiot - Jeremy Renta
Not Idiot - Josh Davenpot
Doctor - Hunter Cressall

Thursday, January 10, 2008

More Silliness

If you liked Beef jerky, you'll love Bees!



MY ROOMMATE THE IDIOT: BEES

Idiot - Jeremy Renta
Not Idiot - Josh Davenpot
Doctor - Hunter Cressall

Monday, January 07, 2008

Video Goodness for You!

My friends and I have been busy... So enjoy the fruits of our twisted souls. Or meats, if you will... A special kudos to George Milton for his musical talent...



MY ROOMMATE THE IDIOT: BEEF JERKY

Idiot - Jeremy Renta
Not Idiot - Josh Davenpot
Doctor - Hunter Cressall

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Calendar Woes

Once again our archive calendar has collapsed. Once again the Stalwart Ratzmandious (Carl) has saved the day. It makes me thank God that there is such a thing as England and that it will write code for a .php calendar implementation.

God save the Queen. Thank her for my archives.

A humble ex patriot, rebel and nerd,

H

** update **

The calendar is fixed...if a bit...er...expanded. My thanks to Carl, my coding expert and benefactor. Forgive me if adding the back-dated comics clear to 1969 does not occur with unbridled alacrity.

I did however catch us up to Friday so there that at least.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Wednesday?

Sorry gang,

Had to take a personal day for...WORK. I figure you've gotten two bonus ministrips for Christmas and New Year's Day so you should be happy. Still, I'll stack two on Friday just to make good on my ner' ending pledge.

Long live the Vexxarr!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Anti-Vista

Many of you may know me from my Mac Parody. This has given the erroneous impression to some that I loathe Apple and (by some bizarre opposition calculus) love Microsoft.

I think that I have made my position clear that I hate Operating Systems in general. It should therefore be - by extension - no surprise that I have a bone to pick with Vista.

This is true.

Yet with Vista, it is not a mere bone but rather and entire Harryhausen-ian horde of skeletal warriors...that I pick.

(ahem)

Let me start over.

I became acquainted with Vista Home Edition with my new laptop. I knew that my Acer Aspire 3680 came with Vista pre-installed but I figured that I would give it a shot. Well, what they say about its performance drag and peripheral incompatibilities is true. Having lived through both Windows 98 and Windows 2000, I can tell you that Vista's birthing woes are objectively worse than one would expect from any new operating system - and this includes OSX which was a complete reboot of the Apple product line.

Now Vista at its core has many things going for it. It is at least as stable as Windows XP which is to say as stable as any home computing device gets these days (sorry Apple). It is very easy on the eyes. It is also fairly intuitive. However, in order to truly enjoy Vista, you must not only be logged on as administrator (something Microsoft now inexplicably discourages) but you must be at least a little familiar with administrative rights, servers and networks as Vista operates in this sort of world. What this means to the average user is that Vista will do things - strange things - at inconvenient and often disastrous times. From my point of view even the fact that Vista does things when I'm not telling it explicitly to do things is itself a bit shady.

Add to this the fact that Vista has a comedicly large footprint, saps resources and generally acts like a blob of poor coding and you have a rather off-putting user end experience. Pardon me for placing some credibility with Microsoft when I say that they simply should have known better.

Now Microsoft wants us - and by us I mean the entire planet - to drop 2000, NT and XP and adopt Vista even though it doesn't work like a finished piece of code. Consumers have responded in the appropriate fashion by uninstalling Vista and going back to whatever worked best for them. In my case, I purchased my first copy of XP Pro and am happy to report that it is a slick and jim-dandy operating system! Still apologists are trying to create a parallel world where consumers are happy with Vista and Microsoft need not address their blunder.

The problem is this. We the consumers need to be able to decide what works and what doesn't (this means you too Steve Jobs). When something comes out like Vista that has some game-ending issues the consumer needs to be heard on the matter.

Microsoft? We'll just drop support for XP so you HAVE to buy Vista.

Well this time there is something we can do. Dell and many others offer XP (again) on most new machines. When purchasing a new PC please ask you retailer for XP (you'll thank me) and if they don't offer XP for that computer ask for a system for which that they can. If they don't have anything you can use that comes with XP please say no thank-you and tell them why. There are plenty of reputable computer vendors who will build a nice system and include a licensed version of Windows 2000 or XP at your option. In this way, we can force Microsoft to address Vista's fundamental failure and maybe try something new like a total OS reboot (it worked for Apple).

We need to be firm on this and we need to stick to our guns. If the future is Vista, we can look forward to a PC price point (due to performance requirements) closer to that of Apple. We can look forward to feeling as helpless with our home computers as we do at work on the office network. Most of all we can look forward to losing the personal of personal computing. Microsoft has written some pretty impressive GUI in the past. Based on my experience with the Xbox 360, I know that they still do. Vista wasn't a planned violation of good code execution, it was an error in judgment. All we need to do is force Microsoft to admit their mistake and go back to the drawing board. Think it can't happen?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you OS 9.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Of Blood And Vexx

So I've been visiting the catheter lab of a certain local hospital.

No... I'm fine.

I've been shooting arterial stent insertion in the effort to produce a teaching video on the subject. So while you, dear readers, have languished in a Vexxarr-shaped vacuum, I have been dodging arterial blood spurts (yes, really) and trying to guess which of four fluoroscopes to feature in any given shot.

It is exhilarating torture, I assure you.

While watching a hair-thin probe slither the four feet from a patient's groin to the base of the neck it occurs to me... This person has been essentially boarded and had robots storm through their circulatory system while ramming through blockages on the way to deploying an alien device. Isn't this the literal antonym of non-invasive?

Conventional surgery by comparison is actually more of a breach. This is just like watching Darth Vader scour the Tantive IV for the Death Star plans...only with fewer actual droids.

At least so far.

Friday, December 14, 2007

I Hate It When I'm Right

I go round and round with people about electric cars. I tell them that they will arrive in the marketplace this decade. I am scoffed at. I tell the that there is strong consumer demand. I am met with denial. I point out that electric cars are faster, torquier and more efficient than internal combustion engines. I get excuses, hyperbole and outright lies. The last arguments against the electric car were 1) Range has been insufficient to be practical and 2) charge times are too long. Since the Tesla, the average range of an electric vehicle is about 120 miles to the charge (the Tesla gets nearly 300) and charge times to 80% capacity (roughly 100 miles) were at or below fifteen minutes.

Then came Toshiba.

On the 13th of this month, Toshiba announced the virtual birth of the age of electric vehicles. They will begin manufacture immediately of a Lithium battery which charges to 90% capacity in five minutes and has a tested lifespan of ten years. Originally shipping to commercial interests in 2008, the consumer market will likely follow at an accelerated pace. Toshiba for it's part has already announced that high performance variations of this new battery are being developed for the automotive industry.

In the US, even at the fastest pump, it takes ten minutes to fill up a compact car (doubt me? check your watch next time you fill up). Virtually every automobile in the US is designed with a 300 mile range (mileage to tank capacity ratio). Given that the worst electric vehicle will have at least a 100 mile range, topping off your charge in five to fifteen minutes every 100 miles is no hardship. I have to pee virtually every 60 miles so the 100 mile issue isn't much of a stretch. Add to this the fact that electric cars out accelerate, out perform and will outlast internal combustion equivalents and the new Toshiba battery makes this a no-brainer.

Maintenance-free electric drive is almost like car porn to me.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Bugger...

It appears that Terry Pratchett has a rare form of early onset Alzheimer's. While insisting that he is not - as of yet - dead, I still find reason to experience a little disappointment and some sensible degree of sadness over this news. Pratchett for his part requests that offers of help be limited to those in the field of advanced neurology and emerging developments in brain chemistry. This of course is an exclusive club, membership to which eludes me at the moment.

But what about you? Any takers? You're a smart lot. Surely someone reading this can restore his cognitive fatty tissue on a quantum level. What else are you doing in 2008?

So now you have homework.

Details available on Paul Kidby's website.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

T-Shirts... Let's DO This

OK, I want you to be patient and understanding.

I have PUT UP THE NEW STORE (humble though it may be) and it includes the option to pay for and posses your very own Vexxarr Tee. I want you to feel free to send me money for this privilege. I only ask, apart from sending me your money, that you allow for some bumps in the process.

While I trust and rely upon PayPal, after I receive an order confirmation, I currently must hand ship the shirt from me to you. I sincerely doubt that I will be able to get you guys shirts by Christmas (or Hanukkah or Robomadan or The Rising of Dark Cthulhu) but I will do my level best.

While I have other T Shirt ideas in mind, I want to see how well these do before I trouble my kind and generous vendor further.

Oh, and buy my shirts.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Late Update for Friday

So look for Friday's Vex on Saturday or two on Monday.

Friday, I'll be in Atlanta doing time - HARD time. Time shooting a Toyota dealership.

No, no...

With video.

A pity you say? I agree.

But - for what it's worth - it means money. Money means food and food means I will produce a new Vexxarr for every Monday, Wednesday and Friday until the day you die.

I for one plan to avoid death when offered the option. I've looked into this "aging" thing you kids seem so crazy about these days. Turns out, there isn't really much to recommend it. So I've given it a pass.

I have "top people" working on a full-body android prosthesis.

An abomination you say?

Well, I shall feel the sting of your moral outrage...for thousands of years...from the deck of my own personal starship...whilst getting wicked sick at Halo 3.

Immortality loses it's Twilight Zonish sting in the face of modern gaming technology.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Keeping It Going

By my counting, I have passed 434 real comics (excluding holidays, one-shots and a poorly disguised filler. I have updated (post-updated) this comic every MWF without exception. There are days where I dread making the new comic. There are days when I have three ideas ready to go all at once. Yet it never gets old. After nearly three years, the hardest part? Writing the strip. I have to tell a story, advance the plot and tell a joke - all in four panels. There is nothing in my life that take more time and and more concentration.

Oh, and the word balloons are a major pain in the butt.

Can't forget that.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Back on schedule means a little late.

Had some unforeseen hardware issues tonight. I have to be at a screening for a United Way video which I shot last week early tomorrow so I'm turning in. Vexxarr will be up and running on schedule this week...

...which is to say only mildly behind schedule.