Late Comics - The Why

I'm working another project this week. Easier than the nightmares which have kept me separated from you these past long weeks. Still, only this eve did I pen the script for Friday's strip. That - believe it or not - is the hard part.

Someone once said:

Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until blood beads on your forehead.

Well, I find that writing a comic is just that hard. Often I have to drive around, or take a shower or go to the gym expressly for the purpose of dislodging a joke from my fevered brow. You would not believe how many times a story has sprung forth whilst doing squats. SQUATS.

Never let anyone tell you that writing isn't physical. It's damn near herculean.

I got some nice feedback about the artwork I posted. But then again my Mother can dote sometimes. You lot were nothing but hateful.

Hateful!

But I thought I'd post it again because I like to taunt you.

So once again:

The Plan/Profile of the Command Ship and Warp Sabot.

Also:

The Locutron Landing Field.

I like the tiered burr effect which took more time to create than was warranted. Also, I could have spent more time on the JOKE. I am often reminded that irony and humor while related are not synonymous.

Then the man in sunglasses dunks me for another twenty seconds. I hope they bring hot porridge again for supper.

We're BAAAAAAAACK...

Yesterday, at around 7:45pm Eastern (US) Standard Time, mankind proved to those Martian rapscallions that the poles are no longer a safe hiding place. Braving heat, cold, cosmic radiation and the metric system, the Mars Phoenix lander touched down on the northern polar ice cap of Mars making it the third rocket-slowed lander in US history to successfully touch down on Martian soil. The first pictures show a healthily if narcissistic machine on solid ground and with fully deployed solar panels.

Only hours after this amazing feet (which is rapidly becoming viewed as commonplace by many) are the humanitarian whiners beginning to chide NASA.

Same old saw: isn't this money better spent solving the worlds problems?

Or: shouldn't we solve the world's problems first?

OK. I have to point out the obvious logical fallacies to these idiotic quips. I have compiled a short but definitive list. It looks like this:

1. It's not a lot of money. NASA typically gets one-half of one percent of the US operating budget or 15 billion dollars annually. NASA has about the smallest departmental budget in the US government.

2. Space Research benefits mankind. Many humanitarian technologies such as global communications, miniaturized computer technologies, weather prediction, GPS location and solar power have come directly from space exploration.

3. Many important technologies come from seemingly unrelated research. Smallpox vaccines came from livestock.This week, research on South American beetles may have provided a breakthrough in optical computer research. You can not predict where that next earth-shattering discovery may come from. De-funding one discipline may cripple another. You have to explore and research everywhere because you cannot predict which datum will save your life down the road.

4. Ultimately, space holds the solution to all of mankind's long-term problems. Ultimately, we will only find the food, energy, metals and room we need off world. There is only so much of that stuff here. Unless you believe that one in four people needs to be culled for the sake of our crowded planet, there are no earthbound solutions to these problems in the long term. We will have to get the things we need from other places. And history shows that looking for these resources at the moment you need them - is already too late.

Basically, space exploration is the solution and not the problem. If you are a space exploration detractor, then you are part of the problem and not part of the solution. I would go so far as to say that culling people who disagree with space research would do more to help mankind than would culling space exploration itself.

Space is more than our destiny, it is our salvation. Without programs like this in our lives today we have a dark future ahead. Phoenix may be analyzing soil and looking for evidence of organic life but to do that, it refined the engineering necessary to get our machines off the Earth and safely aground anywhere we damn well want to put them. Soon, these machines may be generating power, mining useful metals or moving pesky E.L.E. objects out of our orbital path. We spend the money and materials now so that when we need do do these jobs, we already know how. If we wait until the need arises, it may be too late to do anything.

Still think space is money waisted? Do me a favor and change your species. Humanity is already at quota for dead weight.

Devil, Details and Life

For those of you who care about such things (hello, Roy) I have posted the background of the post-apocalyptic Epsilon Beta Schlumpy for you to see:





It has a Seussian quality that I find not unpleasant. Also, I'd like to occasionally show you the kind of detail that - all things being equal - I'd rather not do BUT feel compelled to provide.

Those tiny voices...

Damn them. Damn them to hell!

Solar Units

Yes, yes, yes...

Technically only our star is Sol. So the Bleen Navy would still likely use the term AU (astronomical units) but derive the short side of the triangle from the relationship between Bleen and their sun. Yet, an AU has become such an Earth-Centric term that - although potentially generic - it sounds specific to our sun and our orbit (and the distance from both whereby the Earth and Sol appear to be one degree of arc apart).

edit: It has been pointed out that I have confused an AU - the distance of Earth from Sol and a Parsec - the triangulation of Earth and Sun to one degree of arc. I'm blaming it on fatigue.

So where was i?

Oh, yeah. So by Solar Unit I mean a (Whatever the Bleen call their sun)-ar unit...translated from Bleen into English.

Good enough?

So now you know what keeps me awake at night...and why I have no friends.

I sleep now.

Perspective

Well...Now I see how it is...

I would have thought that the new perspective of the bridge would have elicited Oooo's and Aaah's.

But no.

I am taken for granted.

See if I bother showing you what is really on Carl's screen now...

Taa Daa!!!

Taxes Filed ! Celebrity Filmed ! Today's Vexxarr Posted... Today !!!

Urban Planning Video (sentbackforfurtherrevisionsand I'llhearbackfromthemsometimenextweek) !

So my pledge endures. I endure. Both as a result of Diet Code Red administered via constant intravenous transfusion.

I need some sleep...

Unexpected Work - Late Bonus Update

...BUT still all caught up by tonight.

I've had taxes, a birthday, a long-format video for the Jefferson County and a commercial shoot with a football celebrity (who never appeared). Yet I still manage to get you one more strip.

Again, I invoke my pledge: I shall produce a strip for each and every Monday Wednesday and Friday until either the day I die or the very last sun is extinguished from the heavens.

And I wouldn't place any bets on which will happen first if I were you...

So more Vexxarr for you today. Less sleep for me tonight. And I'll be anxiously awaiting all those T-Shirt sales which help to keep my i.v. filled and my respirator pumping. But don't feel guilty...

Still One Comic Behind

But I did TECHNICALLY update three times this week...

SO...

You get Friday's and Monday's on Monday - how lucky for you! And I noticed a marked SPIKE in my readership this week. From whence do you come?

I always enjoy hearing where readers found my humble strip.

Amuse me...

Or DIE.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, Hunter the cartoonist, the filmmaker, the (fake) castle builder and the Mac Parody Guy has turned 41.

It started with a dull ache in the back of my head and progressed to a burning sensation engulfing my entire body. Soon my flesh began to disintegrate into dust and my bones suddenly exploded like dry plaster in a kiln. In the end, the small pile of my granular remains sat like chalk dust awaiting the sunrise. And just as the first amber fingers of the new day touched my dessicated form, it gently took flight upon the morning breeze...

Late Late Late

OK, the trifecta of tardiness...

I have a huge project which refuses to die, it's my birthday and the IRS wants a fraction of the money which I did not make.

So, Vexxarr marches on but seems to be a day out of sync. Those of you who know me know I will make things right - and by right , I mean three comics a week.

Those of you who don't know me, will assume the worst - and on a purely philosophical level you will be correct. But not about the comics.

So Take today's offering for yesterday and I promise today's tomorrow after today's is done yesterday.

I'm going to sleep now.

Fish.

April Fools!

But you already knew this, didn't you?

Just a little fun and wishful thinking on my part. New comic tomorrow. Maybe even a funny one!

Tweaks

We are implementing a new calendar archive so bear with us. Till then, enjoy the new enhanced day by day archive with the pully downy story arch menu and new support for non standard images (expect the April Fools comics to return).

We'll get this worked out yet!

Arthur C Clarke

I'm re-reading The Sentinel tonight. Clarke's insights on Lunar Sausage proved to be prophetic.


New comics Thursday and Friday.

Crabs Are Complicated

Yes, I know.

The crab home world (Mother Rock in my scripts) seems devoid of rock crabs (silicoids in my scripts). The truth is, drawing the little buggers is a chore. Yes, I know...I have added Sid (yes, that's his name) to the roster of regular characters. As a result, I have embarked on a champaign of finding ways to interpose simple objects between Sid and the viewer's perspective. I may also resort to a model sheet of Sid's expressions and gestures and just cut and paste him into the comic. This is also something I am about to do for Minionbot (Minionbot 107 in my scripts). Because the automata in the Vexxverse need to appear symmetrical and proportionally consistent, I don't view use of a cheat sheet as cheating per se.

Which, of course, it is.

One way or the other, I'll depict more crabs and less mutable robots. Thus far, the only character regularly conjured from the clipboard is Carl for obvious reasons.

By the way, anyone notice that the rack of testing server blades from Groom Lake still sits behind Carl on the bridge? There are still little tools on its top as well...

Sao Tome and Principe

OK, so I use Stat Counter to keep up with you guys. And there is a fun feature that lets me monitor you in real time with a map (and I can see you in your underwear too...). I see that I have readers in Scandinavia, Germany, England, Australia and across the US. I even have readers in Ukraine, Russia and a lone reader on the Isle of Man. Sometimes I give what the man in the street would call a 'shout-out'. Although when I use that exact turn of phrase I taste bile...

Excuse me. *ahem*
Anyway I have noticed that I have a mystery reader, off the coast of Ghana, Africa near Sao Tome. The only problem is that there is no land mass associated with the marker. Of course I have constructed elaborate fantasies involving oil platforms, man-made archipelagos or Bond-villain-style undersea fortresses with missiles and henchmen in silver jumpsuits but I'm curious to know the truth. Who are you, where are you reading Vexxarr from and why do you make your henchmen wear silver jumpsuits?

Actually, when you have time, I'd love for you guys to drop into our forums and send a message about where all of you readers are from and how the heck you found this comic while surfing the web in Siberia.

Yes. Seriously.

SHIRTS!

Arrived!

Soon, they will move your way!

I am SO sorry about the delay. The long wait is now a short one. I am dedicating myself to the movement of Vexxarr Merch exclusively tomorrow.

So.

If you were awaiting a shirt or a print - tomorrow is the day!

...that they ship. God knows when they will actually arrive. At least after tomorrow it won't be my fault.

Have I mentioned that I love each and every one of you?

Catching Up

Yes, I'm overburdened with freelance work and trivial issues in my life. For those of you who have not completely abandoned me in my time of extremity, you have noticed some of my Youtube offerings. Chief among these video morsels is my old Mac Parody Crash Different. In between actual work and what little time I allot myself for food, exercise and sleep, I have been defending the veracity of the issues raised by the Mac rant. After some semantical back-and-forth, I found out that despite a finite population on this planet, some of you are seeing the damn thing for the first time. I shall repeat here what I should have said up front on my Youtube space: Crash Different is five years old. Some of the gripes I outline in that narrative have actually been addressed by Apple (shocking though that may be). SO if you have a quibble over my quibbles, try to keep them in the proper context...

...it's the internet. No one cares.

Boston vs Mooninites...FIGHT!

Let us take time to remember the Mooninite invasion of Boston one year ago wherein the mayor (Thomas M. Menino) ignored both good information and internet memes.

This is not a criticism of the Boston Police and emergency response teams who, acting on orders from the mayor, did a near perfect job of securing a huge metropolitan area and showing exactly how a coordinated response effort is supposed to unfold.

No, this is a reminder that many of or elected leaders are aging, isolated fuddy duddies who absolutely need to get out more.

Let us all recall that Boston was one of many major metropolitan areas in the US where a guerrilla marketing firm had L E D Moonanite signs posted in an effort to raise US awareness of the AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE movie to a fever pitch.

Let us recall that these guerrilla placement missions were video taped and posted online for months prior to the incident in Boston.

Let us recall that Boston Bomb authorities also detonated a traffic counting device just weeks following the event. No one was charged in this "hoax".

Let us all remember that other major metropolitan areas - Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, Philadelphia, Portland, San Francisco - all identified the objects as harmless and either removed them or left them in place.

Let us all recall that Google exists.

That said, I submit that the incident in Boston, the confusion which followed and any expenses incurred were the sole responsibility of the Mayor's Office of Boston. This is not to say that Mayor Thomas M. Menino was necessarily wrong in activating his reaction teams. Thomas M. Menino's only mistake was not having access to a media team to research the issue with all resources available once the effort was underway.

Look folks, innocent bomb scares happen. Things get blown up by mistake. The police will, on occasion, be called for an emergency that doesn't exist. As I've stated before, just because I leave my lunch box on a park bench and the bomb squad is called out to detonate my bologna sandwich, doesn't mean the the mayor's office gets to charge me with a hoax.

The incident in Boston was a simple misunderstanding. The charges filed by the city of Boston on the individuals responsible were a simple face-saving measure. The entire event was a perfect storm of media and pop-culture un-awareness, failure to heed good information and simply living in a time of heightened awareness. In the end, Aqua Teen Hunger Force got some headline exposure, the Boston authorities got an excellent disaster drill and Thomas M. Menino got to get out a little bit and smell the roses. Which he needs to do more often...

Bologna sandwiches will get detonated from time to time. It's no one's fault. Take it as experience and move on.

Transpermia

Sometimes I wonder if my scripts cause a wave of search traffic over at New Scientist and Wired. And if those administrators look at the traffic querying words like transpermia and gigantomachy and wonder what exactly is wrong with the world...

To them the question is merely rhetorical. I, in fact, know...