Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Hope all of your various and sundry holiday endeavors are proceeding to plan!
Friday, December 15, 2006
If it weren't for the money I wouldn't do this to myself.
But that, of course, goes without saying.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Now I face a trek to Thomasville for more of the same. I find myself in the unusual position of having done the Strip for Wednesday but not being able to administrate from the road. No, I don't have a laptop.
So I figure you guys, having NO self control, would rather have a late comic (Thursday am) than having them both now.
Sheese... I'd hate to be the one hiding YOUR Christmas presents. I bet you check the dog with an orthoscope...
Anyway...new comic Thursday and A new comic Friday.
Sorry for the wonky schedule but...alas, I must make the monies...
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Some of you have complained that I haven't posted a good rant in awhile. SOme of you have restricted your issue with my ability to rant at all.
The absence of ranting is due largely to my busy schedule...a fragment of which has forced me to post a Friday comic before Friday has officially commenced.
I will be in Orlando slaving away on automotive matters for those of you keeping score at home. Toyota will be the victim of my ham-fisted camera work this time. We are driving. God help me.
But if it is a rant you want...then a rant you shall have.
Cingular...just say no. They do NOT have the least dropped calls of any provider. From my experience, dropped calls are something they seem to mass produce with some enthusiasm. This however is beside my actual point.
My actual point is that after a year of dropped calls and dead calls with nine bars showing, I have decided to switch to T-Mobile. Don't know if they are any better, I just know that for my plan they are cheaper...and the simply can't be worse. That is to say, they have not actively begun killing their subscribers.
To my knowledge.
Anyway. My beef with Cingular center around the fact that my woes seem to be a result of a defective phone. It was defective out of the box. Now I have 30 days to return my phone should it prove to be defective. The proof, however lies solely in the act of a Cingular representative saying "Yes, your phone is defective. Send it back."
Well for more than eight months, every tech support person I could reach told me that the phone was fine and that my misery was a result of technology integration with the recently acquired AT&T equipment.
They stuck with this story for eight months. Now, they claim that no such area trouble ever existed and that the problem is and has been with my phone...all along. Conveniently after my warranty expired. Keep in mind that I called these folks once a month on average and that Cingular acknowledges that I have had issues for eight months.
At first, they were going to sell me a new phone as I had lost the option to swap units after the first thirty days. I did succeed in convincing them to send me a new one, free of charge, because I asked for a new one repeatedly and was told over and over again - essentially - "no."
So I get the phone. I call in to switch the service to the new phone (and chip). The person (I assume) who "helped" me was almost completely incapable of:
1) Understanding that I simply needed to switch this new handset to my existing service.
2) Understanding that I was given a new chip with the phone which needed to be activated.
3) Understanding that Nokia phones CANNOT transfer all of your precious, precious address book info from one handset to another (another long, sad tail).
4) Calling me back to complete the transaction. Ever.
So it is that I decided "enough" and wanted out of Cingular. As I have some months left on my two year contract, they insist that I pay out the remaining $90 (USD) to leave the contract. My position is that I have NOT had reliable service from Cingular at any time in recent memory (a point they do not dispute) and that if anything, after I provided the tech support on my own to diagnose the problem and coerce them into agreeing with me that they should drop the $90 (USD) charge and call it even.
On this point, they conceded.
However, should I opt to drop the account and simply close out my bill amicably, they will refuse (their word - not mine) to allow my number to transfer to another company (such as T-Mobile). So I must choose between getting $90 (USD) back or keeping my business number.
Look folks, I'm paying the $90 (USD) I'm switching to T-Mobile. I'm counting myself lucky. What I would like to happen is that people call their cell providers more often. Let's not accept marginal service. Let's switch providers when they refuse to give us the tech support we pay for. Yes, we eat a few bucks in the process but as in my case, paying the $90 (USD) today will mean that I save money in just three months of service. If anyone else out there has Cingular, I'd like to know what YOUR experience is or was.
If anyone out there works for Cingular, I'd love some silverware from their cafeteria.
Just so I could say I got something from them...you know?
A spoon would be nice.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
My vow again for those just joining us: I will have three new strips a day until the day I die. And rest assured that will be a very, very long time from now.
Friday, November 17, 2006
(*edit* think I'm kidding? Check this out. And This.)
Add to this an HDMI issue that leaves owners on non-720p ready televisions looking at 480p resolution (or worse, blank screens). Also note that very few if any PS2 and PS1 games actually function on the new system with audio. Worse still, most of the launch titles seem to be unfinished or at the very least finished hurriedly and one wonders why anyone would line up on a rainy night for this system.
In fact, at $600 US are we really talking about a next-generation system in the first place? By my way of thinking, a next-gen system has two major components: One, a tremendous leap in the quality, duration and complexity of game play and Two, an offering at a price comparable to previous consoles (allowing of course for inflation). Price is a big deal. Sony could have produced the PS3 ten years ago if it felt the public were willing to pay nearly $20,000 US per unit to own one. Would that have truly been a next-gen system? Perhaps what makes a nex-gen system next-gen is that the technology has matured and become affordable to the average gamer. I wouldn’t call a multi-million dollar combat flight simulation system a next-gen system simply because it has superior graphics and sound.
So where does profit fit into this scenario? Sony is officially losing around $300 per unit. The logic of this arrangement is that Sony makes money per license and sometimes per unit on games sold for the PS3. Yet with fewer than 500,000 units sold worldwide, how does any game developer make money? If you assume that any game will only sell to about half of all system owners, at this point any game stands to sell at a maximum around 250,000 units worldwide. At $60 US a pop, there is no way to make a return on your estimated $15,000,000 US investment in that title. At this point, there is no way that enough PS3 consumers can materialize to keep developers working on PS3 titles. Even if Sony manages to produce one million units by Christmas (which they assuredly will not), developers are likely not going to get a title into the black before third quarter 2007. Where is the incentive as a game designer in that market?
None of this should come as a shock to us. None of this came as a shock to me. All anyone had to do was add the numbers. With an average game costing $4,000,000 to $20,000,000 US to develop you start to realize that you need to be selling in a market with well over 100 million informed buyers to make any money. With obvious exceptions like Halo and Final Fantasy, most titles are going to appeal to about one in ten consumers on a particular system. From that pool many if not most will wait for the price drop or resell market before acquiring a title. Granted, yes, retailers actually buy the titles and retailers bear the risk of sales or languishing overstock but the developers still have to move a staggering number of units simply to break even.
Let's not even address how one goes about buying a game after laying down over $700 US after sales tax...
So I ask again - why would you pour millions of dollars into a title - especially in the final months before launch - when it has become abundantly clear that the console for which you are developing will simply not exist in the numbers necessary for you to stay in business? Perhaps the answer is that you would not. Perhaps the answer is that you would cut corners. Perhaps the answer is that you would be sure to make that title available for the PC as well. Either way, you know there is a very large risk associated with putting in the kind of resources necessary to make a very polished final product.
Final analysis - I'm not going to call the PS3 a failure. Likely firmware patches will address if not remove all the technical issues associated with the unit at launch. Games, of course, are always a bit anemic at launch. Every system has its stinkers. What I am trying to stress (and what it has become clear that Nintendo already knows) is that being the next top-end system may not be the wisest way to win over a market. Clearly those who own the new PS3 are pleased with their purchase. What I am saying is that Sony may have (once again) pushed the basic cost of doing business so close to the limit of what the market will bear that there simply may not be any margin for profit.
And all it took was a Bachelors of Science in Economics to tell me that there might not be a long, robust future in purchasing the PS3 at launch. So, want not to be burned by this decade's next 3DO? Stay in school kids.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Thanks to gamachinist of our forums for pointing that out!
Two new comics and something special. The new comics are in the archives on their appropriate days. Just click back to read them...if you dare!
Monday, October 09, 2006
New comic! On time-ish!
Second, I would like to take this opportunity to announce to my readers and indeed the world that I, Hunter Cressall, will test a nuclear device . Due to mounting global pressure and the recent test by North Korea (of an absurdly primitive nuclear device), I feel that for the safety of my household, my Star Wars action figures and my socks I must procure and test my own nuclear device.
I would also like to add that I am much taller and far more attractive than Kim Jong-il and can kick his ass at Dr Mario up and down Pyongyang.
Look for updates soon...
Friday, October 06, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
OK, late Vexxarr but what else is new? He's coming AND there will be both a Wednesday and a Friday Vexxarr as always (you should no my no wimp out policy by now). When you peruse my archives (as I know some of you have been - I've been watching you) please note that there are three blue numbers in every damn week of every damn month since I launched this sucker.
So it shall remain.
So thanks! You guys are really teh bomb. I'll have an RSS up shortly and then I'll whine at you about searchable archives! And about that foreign shipping issue in my Print Shoppe...I'm just going to let these babies go at a single rate. I'll update the page.
After I give you today's Vexxarr.
With the bloody stumps of my fingers...
Monday, October 02, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Or a Tiger, maybe...
Friday, September 29, 2006
See, I do Vexx on a PC. PC's chew up operating systems. Mac's chew up drives. It's just one of those things you have to deal with as a Mac owner. Problem is, when your OS goes belly up. Assuming you've instituted safeguards like multiple hard drives in your PC, none of your data goes away. When your hard drives are constantly under the barrage of needless internal data management like in say...a Mac. Well, you're screwed.
If I can keep my old LaCie alive long enough to x-fer 460GB of my life, blood and tears to my new LaCie. I'll be in the clear. You know, I just had an idea: Maybe I should use a PC as a server and backup for my Mac data. See cuz on a PC when you aren't using the drive...the computer isn't using it either.
Are you listening Apple?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Remember that each print comes with a paragraph from me explaining exactly "...just what the hell I was thinking..." at the time I drew the strip. That alone should be worth the roughly ten US bucks.
* EDIT *
I have early confirmation that everything works as promised through Paypal. While it is not necessary to have a Paypal account, it does make things easier.
My only word of warning, it is NOT necessary to become a "verified" Paypal member nor should you. This involves giving them permission to make bank drafts directly from your checking account. Don't do it. The only complaints I find about Paypal center around incorrect bank drafts and Paypal's sluggishness to investigate and correct these matters. All Paypal needs is a credit card and should an unverified charge be levied to your card, you can challenge the charge and most likely, considering Paypal's past, your card will side with YOU.
Anyway, the payment button is safe. I get none of your credit information. I do get your request, your order number and your address. So if you buy a print, it will arrive at your door via post. Original artwork works the same way but I need an email with your order number so that I draw Vexxarr in exactly the sort of nighty you had in mind.
So buy my prints.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Some clarification first:
Ok, Paypal doesn't offer a demo walkthrough for the vendor (me) to examine the experience of the buyer (you). So I don't know what to expect. What it should do is ask (1) for your address, ask for (2) the date and title(s) of the comics you want and give you (3) a unique numeric identifier.
At the end of your purchase, I ask you to email me through the link provided and send me all that info as well. If you include the time you made the purchase, I'll have no trouble pairing you up with your purchase even if you don't have a unique numeric identifier. Either way, if you email me, I'll send out a print. No questions asked.
I would also like you guys to share the experience with me so that I can make it better.
Don't be confused by the six options. It boils down to this:
2 options for a print: domestic and foreign
2 options for a colorized print: domestic and foreign
2 options for original artwork: domestic and foreign
Yes, I will update all the black and whit archives with the colorized artwork. So yes, eventually you won't have to pay me to colorize a print. Why am I charging you to have my archives colorized? Someone has to do it. And if you don't pay me to, let's face it, I'll simply never get around to it. If you pay me 10 to 14 US dollars, I'll feel OBLIGATED to color them. Eventually they'll all be in color and a nicer dither pattern and the colorize option will go the way of the Dodo.
If you hate your artwork, I'll offer a make-good at least once. If you really hate your artwork, I may offer my wrath. Or a cookie. Depending.
So buy my artwork and I'll eventually quit my dayjob and pump out happy alien goodness seven days a week.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
No....not quite yet. But almost as good. Prints and cards suitable for framing. Original artwork by request. Naked images of Sploorfix. Heady stuff, I assure you. But if this does well, T-shirts will not be far behind. It's called seed money.
I'm setting up the account and it will go live soon. I had planned it to go live today...but work precluded any such rash action. See, you guys need to subsidize my work so I can dish out the Vexx 24/7. Believe me, If I could draw Vexxarr full time, you guys would get a new strip 24/7/365. I mean that.
So new comic. And a new blending option in photoshop. People have asked me why I do not post a tutorial on the creation of the Vexxarr strip. I always answer...because no one wants to see sequential jpegs of a grown man weeping at a drafting table.
And so it is true...
Saturday, September 16, 2006
None of this should concern you. What it SHOULD do is compel you to click the web comic list banner and leave them a piece of my mind on the Vexxarr page there. Heck, maybe you should sign up and vote for Vexxarr!
So far I haven't asked for donations or even offered T-shirts...so far. The very thought of banner ads makes me ever so slightly ill. So all I dream about at night are new comments in the community BB or on the webcomicslist to make my inner child squeal. It really does squeal.
Anyway enjoy the banner week of comic goodness and look forward to another...
...banner week of comic goodness.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A Late Friday strip is in the works! Hopefully those in the US will see it before leaving work today! Those of you across the globe...not so much!
And as always it will be late. I picked up some work this week. A lot of work. And those of you familiar with my chosen career - please try to respect he restraining order and keep out of my bushes...
For those of you less familiar with my job - and therefore my shrubs - I'm a freelance video production entity. I shoot, direct, produce, edit...basically I'm an A/V whore. And this week my Johns have been banging at the door. But you know this because I hear you outside my window. Anyway, I've edited two long format projects, shot a commercial and retagged some PSA's I did about a year ago. Am I complaining? No. This means cash. But I am telling you guys that while I have pledged to do three strips a week until every proton in this universe decays...you may actually have to see a few decay before I give you all three strips.
In short...late Friday strip...but it's on the way.
Sorry for the long-winded and equally pitiful excuse...but I'm punchy.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Where is my thanks?
Anyway, I can't say I plan to make a habit out of yesterday's offering. But if the moment moves me...I may give in to the mood. And for those who asked...I did indeed pen that missive myself. It's accessible through the archive page. I'm not sure if I'll make it available as a strip in continuity...as it were.
Well today marks the return to story. And I still plan to update Wednesday and Friday.
Who loves ya' Babe?
Friday, September 08, 2006
Lots of news on the homefront. Many of you have wondered why there is no Vexxarr store yet. I can say with confidence that the store is almost ready. I simply had to reconcile aligning myself with a force I had previously relegated to the shadow realm. Not the cool, sexy shadow realm...the other one.
Anyway, keep an eye on this spot. And try not to keep your expectations too high...
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
I haven't driven many 5-ton trucks that got less than 20mpg. When I think of 20mpg and below, I tend to think of something a little less agile than a four wheel drive vehicle.
I wish companies like General Motors would stop paying huge creative agencies millions of dollars only to be told "People are stoopid...tell them anything!"
Hey Rick Wagoner! the Emperor is naked! ...and he's FAT!
Friday, August 25, 2006
While I'm venting otherwise unblemished spleen for the benefit of those few readers who have not yet turned away in disgust at my tardiness...let's talk Macs again, shall we?
Those of you who read this comic (and the subset of you who scroll down to discover that there is actually a BLOG attached to it) will know by now how I feel about Macs. I can sum up the breadth and depth of my emotional totality with regards to the Macintosh computer in one sentence: They are computers.
They hold no special magic, they perform no special tasks. In a world of silicone thralls each bound to our every whim regardless of how vile or base. Macs rate a perfect 5 on a cosmic scale of 1 to 10. That is to say they exist.
To further bring this implacable truth to blinding light of public consciousness I wish to relate my afternoon's experience.
Now, if I were to bring you a woe-laden tale of sudden hardware failure what word would first leap to mind? PC? Dell? Windows? And if I also mentioned that my computer had been running fine when suddenly is simply froze and refused to reboot what would your impression be? If I added the fact that after that crash and reboot, my computer was unable to see the MONITORS - the stinking monitors! Instead, all my files, drives and documents were clumped together on the NTSC monitor to the right of my setup. Visiting the settings showed that my computer not only had forgotten that it was attached to two perfectly good flat-screen LCD's but had in fact FORGOTTEN WHAT THEY WERE? What would you think? An HP pavilion running Windows M E?
No, if you hadn't realized by now, I was using my Mac dual 2.5 ghz monster G5 with 2gigs of RAM. I started the day with several sequential lock-ups resulting in a persistent boot condition which left the VGA monitors dark and wanting. Solution? Well, this is a Mac we're talking about. As with most problems, there is no fix. Mac simply won't give you access to the tools you need to address the problem. The button USUALLY found on the settings windows, "detect displays" was mysteriously missing. Unplugging the Blackmagic capture card did nothing to help. In the end, I reached into the off-monitor void with my mouse and was eventually able to retrieve my finder. With that, I was able to open my Preferences folder and start trashing my Mac system preferences until my computer eventually forgot that it had forgotten it had two LCD VGA monitors. On THAT reboot, I got my monitors back.
Now let's be clear here - I never solved the issue. I never even understood what the issue WAS apart from wanting to kick my Mac. So I want all those Mac and OSX apologists out there to take note - to date all of my PC bug experiences ended with a long learning curve, a deeper understanding of the operating system and ultimately a fixed computer. All my Mac bug experiences ended either with trashed preferences or the guy at the Mac store telling me the motherboard had died and charging me $800. Yet I bought one of these beasts for my very own and watched it repay my offer of home and family with pain and mental torture.
That guy at Cult Of The Mac is welcome to keep drinking his iCoolaid. Me, I'm still waiting for machine that runs as well as it's slavish proponents wish it did...
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Still, I bet I post before Gabe and Tycho...which is a bit like betting on the house in Vegas.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
With Beta SP - the dead format that wouldn't die.
[See, Sony decided that it was time to end the dominance of the Beta SP format - partly due to it's attempt to promote the vastly superior and vastly more expensive Digibeta and partly due to the fact that Sony was no longer the largest manufacturer of SP cameras and tape stock. So Sony declaired Beta SP dead and they announced the end of support for SP products. This lasted about six months. Today Beta SP remains one of the most common video formats for commercials and long format video world-wide. Digibeta died a lingering and expensive death - despite the fact that it really was all that and a bag of uncompressed 10 bit full component chips.]
By The way...I just moved my last anti-Sony rant to the rants section. I think I'll just delete the above...
Where was I?
Oh yes. Vexxarr will post in the evening tomorrow. Fear not, it is written and inked already. I just need time to scan, color and post it. And a new Vexx ontime Friday.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Whatever. As far as I am concerned, it's still lunch if it's the second meal you eat no matter what time of day that meal gets eaten.
So here it is the beginning of the end of the Tac-To-Bot storyline. I have to say, I've enjoyed this little arc even if it has seemed a tad trite at times. I like the idea of robots building robots to defend their masters only to have THOSE robots turn on their masters and eventually...them. I also liked the idea that building a new race of robots was pretty much the only solution to any given problem that these machines could imagine. I also enjoyed the carnivore teething on Vexxarr as a running gag. I'm a sucker for a good running gag...if such a thing even exists. I Dunno, it doesn't take much to amuse me.
I'd like to give a belated thanks to Doc and the mammals over at The White Board a superlative in the annals of paintball humor. He was kind enough to link me and give me an honest and friendly review. I can say that no one in my limited experience draws a polar bear as well as Doc. Few men have tried. Catch his comic if you can. Be sure to read the making of page.
Monday, July 24, 2006
For the benefit of my new readers, I'll repeat the Vexxarr Policy:
Three Updates a week. Always. Even if that means three strips on Friday.
Since Vexxarr launched, I have added three new strips a week - almost always on Mon, Wed and Fri. As long as I am alive, Vexxarr will update three times a week and I'll let you know if I plan to be late (now if I DON'T plan to be late...).
Anyway, you get the picture. I'm not going to start updating sporadically then seldom then not at all. Vexxarr is a fixture and will have a new comic up usually before Scott Kurtz and almost always before Penny Arcade. Not bragging, just quoting past performance.
Thank you for choosing Vexxarr and please tell your friends!
Friday, July 21, 2006
SO I look at my stats for the day and see another 7000 new hits of mystery traffic. Maybe Penny Arcade had an erroneous link to me in their 'extras' area
I have no idea.
So to fix this sad state of affairs...I have another request of you. Please tell me how the heck you found my modest webcomic and why you persist in reading my dronings day after day after day...
It would certainly end my idle speculation that I am the definitive herald of the end of Western Civilization.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Go fill it. I don't care what you say. But in case you haven't taken the hint. Click this link.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
And for those of you who sit at your computer hitting the refresh bar until a new comic pops up...seek help.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
My clarification lies in the fact that I when I meant a new comic for the 4th of July, I meant that while'st my friends would be exploding ordnance and eating pork, I would be crafting a fresh, new Vexxarr...which - YES - would actually post on Wednesday, the 5th. As for something special, wait just another day or two. I dare say that the special thing is for ME but it is on the way...have no doubt.
Monday, July 03, 2006
OK, I am being asked about my position on the "new" Mac spots running here in the states. I did send Apple an email saying that their current campaign made them and all Mac users (myself included) look like arrogant pricks and it made me want to lie to people when they asked what I edit on.
I will say that these ads are so out of date that they border on slander. Let's address them shall we?
PC: "I have a ton of manuals to read..."
Are you using a PC Jr??? The last time ANY PC came with so much as a pamphlet, I had just purchased my 100MHz desktop from Gateway. These days all you get is one DVD. No manual, no software disks, nothing. God I wish they came with some kind of documentation - there are times when I truly need it. But now, most PC's ship with a single restore DVD and that's it.
My Mac came with exactly fifteen pounds of user manual. In the interests of full disclosure, I also purchased the full production suite with Final Cut and DVD Studio pro. Fifteen pounds!!!
Mac: "I even talk to that new Japanese camera"
Really? REALLY? You mean you can find a camera from Japan that is compatible with a Mac??? Look, I'm exaggerating here a BIT, but PC computability is no longer an issue. With China bootlegging millions of copies of Microsoft XP, ALL (as in every single one) of the cameras produced in China are PC compatible. Nearly all of the cameras produced in Japan are PC friendly first then Mac friendly second, if ever. I'm not knocking the Mac in this regard but the fact is that Windows - for better or for worse has 90% market penetration worldwide and as such very few digital camera manufacturers are non-Microsoft compliant.
PC: "I had to restart. You know what it's like"
Mac: "No, actually I don't..."
Since the release of XP and OSX, neither system has issues with freezes or restarts. Macs are somewhat less reliable than they used to be with the inclusion of third-party internal components such as graphics cards and Windows boxes are now every bit as robust as Mac's running OSX. Sorry - this is an old claim and happily no longer true. Now if you want to talk about applications "quitting unexpectedly"...
PC: "Actually, the rest of me is in some other boxes..."
My G5 came in six boxes. What the hell is Apple saying here? Buy a laptop?
PC: "We network now - we're friends!"
No. You are most assuredly not friends. I network my Macs and PC's but they are not friends. They talk cordially. Macs will share files. But every Mac will not always see or move files to or from from every other machine on that network. Macs are at best finicky on a network. Ever try to share a Mac internal hard drive to a Windows OS or Unix?
Every claim that Apple has made in these spots is true about PC's running Windows 98. Every one. But in the interest of intellectual honesty, I have to conclude that Apple has finally "stooped" to "lying" in order to appeal to new consumers. At least with Windows, you already know that the product is essentially evil.
Friday, June 30, 2006
So, after my shoot tomorrow, I have just enough time to post the next installment of Sploorfix: Tasty Snack before I leave town for a location shoot. Then, normal update for Sunday.
...and I'll throw in a little something nice for your patience...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I'm extremely punchy...can you tell?
So hang in there for just a few more hours and I'll keep the divine covenant. An alien trinity, if you will.
thanks for your patients and see ya after a few hours sleep!
Monday, June 26, 2006
1) I haven't and won't sleep until it is handed over.
2) My Diet Code Red consumption has tripled.
3) Vexxarr will update either this afternoon (Monday) or tonight (Monday)
Sorry for the lame last minute warning but I had hoped that I would be done by now. Alas, no. I have a Mac and as such, IT CRASHES! Those of you who know me know my position on this. Those of you who actually know who I am know WHY I have a position on Mac stability at all. And for those of you brainwashed by Apple propaganda let me stop your letters of outrage cold in their tracks. I offer you the following:
"The application Final Cut Pro has unexpectedly quit. Relaunch Yes/No?"
"File Error: Unknown File OK?" (clicking ok will delete the source file from the hard drive while simultaneously crashing the running application)
or my personal favorite
"General Error -39"
Folks, these are, in fact, crashes. They are common and frequent (depending on the version of OS X you are running) and unlike Windows XP, Apple actually takes time out of their busy day to lie to you about the cause and severity of these issues (Microsoft, by comparison, simply refuses to talk to you). And before you Mac Zombies chime in, My liquid cooled dual 2.5 Mac G5 is running to Apple spec. It's front end bus is fine. I have no pirated software installed. Apple built it in house to order. And not only can I duplicate my crashes on every G5 I have ever used, I can come to your house and re-create them there too if you wish.
Granted I'd rather purge my eyes with hot pokers than try to do my job with XP running Premiere Pro - but Mac instability is the actual reason it's taking so long to finish this job. I don't hate Macs, I've just gotten to the point where - for what I do - they are no more and no less stable than Windows 2000. I don't edit video on Windows and I don't transcode video formats on a Mac.
Now I need to get back to my Mac and lay down more voiceover.
See you guys later today!
Monday, June 19, 2006
I'm about to put up a link through which you will be able to purchase your very own glossy copy of any Vexxarr strip of your choice.
When you click the link, you'll be prompted to fill out a form with the date and name of the strip in question. You will even have the option of having me color (colour) the black and white strips for a modest fee. The result will be printed on 8" by 11" glossy card stock, gamma irradiated and blessed by a priest before being mailed to your dwelling.
The cost has yet to be set but I bet that - as my first commercial offering - it will be affordable to all. Even those of you who purchase pen and paper roll playing games (you think Xbox 360 games are expensive?) will have enough liquid funds to buy one of these.
Now whether the comic will be worth the price only history can decide.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
So far I'm on schedule again.
For my New readers, I want to stress that this comic will always update three times a week. If it's late, I'll double up my postings but the total of the postings will always be five (three, sir!). Right. Three!
This comic won't go Mr. Chuck on you guys...I swear!
So once again, Vexxarr updates three times weekly. I only miss when I have projects dropped in my lap suddenly and even then, I get three strips posted a week EVERY WEEK (check my archives if you don't believe me). The down side is that Wednesday's strip may not post - strictly speaking - ON WEDNESDAY. The upside is that unlike some folks I know (with a slightly higher readership), there will be a comic up for every single Monday, Wednesday and Friday until I die. Or the world ends.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Is the actual biblical definition of sloth having a webcomic and then not updating it?
What would Job's webcomic been like anyway? Probably a lot like Real Life actually... I mean Greg Dean is likely the only web cartoonist out there with a more hateful schedule than mine.
Monday, June 12, 2006
I love you. I hate you. I don't want to see my bill this month. But whatever you do/say/think/feel/read/eat/masticate...do NOT go away. Vexxarr has been around about two years-ish and while I might be a tad late on my postin' I've never missed my three-a-week quota.
When my computer and scanner died, I went to my office and use PC paint and Internet Exploder (v6) to download old comics, and manipulate them into brilliant new comics. That shall never happen again of course - partly because I have redundant PC's and scanners now (like six of each) ...and partly because it seemed readers like my cut and paste comics BETTER.
But I digress...
So if you like Vexxarr, I guarantee you will get three servings of green, alien goodness a week in perpetuity...or until I die.
Whichever comes first.
Notice I didn't say three funny servings a week. You hardly get that now.
My thanks out to A Miracle Of Science who seems to be the source of my new eyeball wealth. God GOD guys. Where do you keep 'em???
Sunday, June 11, 2006
But as per my promise so many months ago - there will be three strips for every week. So Sunday's strip will post Monday with (hold your breath) Monday's!
(I hope I was able to make that 'extra' ooze the sort of sex and appeal it was meant to convey)
Friday, June 02, 2006
New Vexxarr tonight if I can squeeze any more blood from this turnip and I promise more Earth shattering revelations. Well, at least revelations that might cause a teacup to rattle...if you in fact rattled it.
The sad thing is...I'm really enjoying this storyline. I like the Locutron especially.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Some of you have noticed that I am pruning the site a bit. Well, back when this comic was slow to load...it was being hosted by a friend...in his basement...literally. Yes it was slow but it was free and I had unlimited bandwidth. Now I'm paying my way... One positive side effect is that Vexxarr loads very quickly now. The negative side effect is that you guys are shooting through my bandwidth like gangbusters.
So who's at fault?
Yes, me. Because I didn't previously have bandwidth restrictions my original design was rather 'top heavy'. So what can I do? Well I can start by shrinking the file size of every element of this site. I sure as heck don't want you guys page loading Vexxarr any less often. The goal would be to rebuild a site which can be loaded three times as often at half the bandwidth. Scott Kurtz predicted this very trap - your online success could be your downfall.
So I've pruned for the moment all my 'excess reload areas' and I'll bring them all back online one at a time as I get a sense of where my bandwidth is leaking. In the mean time, expect three comics a week. At least one additional snarky comment from me and a totally new design this Summer (or winter for you dudes down under). If you miss being able to get my goat...why not EMAIL me. That link isn't up there for my health, you know!
So bare with me and I'll keep the comic moving along...on a shoestring...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Like the internet? Want to see it around in five years...at least as we know it and love it today..?
Then read this. Read this as well but don't believe a word of it. It seems that big business wants to charge duties in addition to existing online fees to on line vendors like (just by way of example) Amazon or Walmart or Apple iTunes. What's the big deal? Anyone who doesn't pay these ad hock fees may not show up in your google searches. In fact, you may not be able to get to them at all. Eventually, new legislation could allow service providers the ability to control who you visit online and which vendors can sell to you. Sound like a nightmare scenario? It is. Read on...
At the very least call Bell South (404-249-2000) and tell them what Bastards you think that they are. Well, tell them that they are, in fact, Bastards AND that you are aware of this fact.
I got a call from a legal representative who wanted to state their case in Net Neutrality.
I told him that I'd love to talk but 8:15am was way to damn early to discuss the subject with any clarity. I'll talk to him next week. He said he'd call back. I'll keep you posted.
Oh, and write your congressman or representative or whatever.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Thursday, May 04, 2006
And Scott Kurtz is just sick of it. Who can blame him? He feels like Lucasfilm slowly leaks these products out to the market in an effort to grab all the cash that they can. He is right. Everyone does. How many versions of The Lord Of The Rings do you own? I have three versions of the Fellowship Of The Ring alone.
But this time I think it's different. This time I think Lucas miscalculated. This time I think George may have actually gone back on a promise he made to himself. We clamored for this release and he fought us every step of the way. Whether his motivations were ultimately greed or concession, it doesn't matter. This time I think that George Lucas changed his mind...
The email I sent Scott Kurtz at PVP in my rants section. You may read it if you wish. Or you can hold out for the original when it comes out on DVD too...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
What's going on is that I have to use an "index.html" as my index file so my usual "index.php" is linked directly from the index.html. If I can get the code for a simple redirect, the splash page will shortly go away.
Anyone know of a good auto redirect that works in html?
And as noted above...this is MONDAY'S comic. WEDNESDAY'S will be posted after I get a little sleep. ...And possibly cake.
Monday, May 01, 2006
I'm sorry. It is funny and continues along the cake theme...sort of.
Anyway, I'm off to another freelance experience and will post the completed comic upon my return this evening.
In the mean time, I have the process used to create helium for your edification and reading pleasure...
Yes, an act of utter desperation.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
So this marks the official 200th strip of Vexxarr!
A celebration is in order. So in celebration, please contact Buffalo Rock and tell them that my supply of Diet Code Red is running low. As I calculate my stockpile, I have one month of life left on this plane of reality.
To celebrate, I have scheduled a two month hiatus - so you guys can take a break from my terrible, terrible comic...
But REALLY seriously.
I have prints in the works. Two miniposter sized prints (approximately 12" x 24" glossy color) are in the works. One is a cutaway view of Vexxarr's ship and hyperdrive sabot. The other is Bleen anatomy. That's right, soon you will learn to know your flam.
I'll make quantities and prices available soon. And don't give up on those T's yet...
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
First of all Media Motor - they claim to be an internet advertising entity. They are criminals. These people have a DirectX drive-by that is unremovable. Fortunately it only infects Internet Explorer while I use Firefox. Still the only solution that I can find is a full and absolute hard drive wipe and Windows reinstall.
But for more important matters: Diet Code Red
What have you done for me today?
Buffalo Rock Sales of Birmingham, Alabama: (205) 940 9799
And how to reach them:
111 Oxmoor Road
Birmingham, Alabama 35209
Need Directions? Click here!
Or as a last resort...
Buffalo Rock Company
P.O. Box 10048
Birmingham, Alabama 35202
Friday, April 14, 2006
You know what this means...
My life is now only as good as the number of cans of this life-giving elixir left in the state of Alabama.
IF you want more Vexxarr.
IF you want ME to draw THEM.
...must beg, cajole, force, convince, trick or otherwise influence Buffalo Rock to continue producing my brain fuel.
Some of you may consider this to be an unfair ultimatum for my readers and fans but...as I see it...if you can't abuse your position of influence...why get up in the morning?
Here's how to help:
Buffalo Rock Sales of Birmingham, Alabama: (205) 940 9799
A list of their management and Robber Baron executives
And how to reach them:
111 Oxmoor Road
Birmingham, Alabama 35209
Need Directions? Click here!
Or as a last resort...
Buffalo Rock Company
P.O. Box 10048
Birmingham, Alabama 35202
What are you staring at this text box for?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Thought I'd build a little perspective into the noodley psych of our beloved Sploorfix (the eye-stalk-thingy). His motivation has been somewhat a source of frustration for me. I figure he (it) has a mixture of Stockholm syndrome and hero worship. Not that Sploorfix is a hostage...he's (it's)...actually more of a political refugee. He and Vexxarr are both pawns of their respective higher authorities (higher being an extremely relative value). That commonality will be expanded upon in the near future.
Until then, silliness.
And possibly even after...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
I wound up working all weekend (and I mean ALL weekend) hence, Monday's strip will be late. But rest assured that when Wednesday rolls around the front page will have two strips as is becoming my habit.
I'd try to ply your sad hearts with promises of color...but I think that they will all be in color from now on.
I like seeing the green in Vexxarr's complexion...it makes me giddy with joy.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Also, I've run into the Dihydrogen Monoxide hoax again. It purports to show that Americans are so woefully ignorant of their basic chemistry education that they don't even know the name for water when they hear it (or read it as is the case for the internet hoax). Who can blame them...since Dihydrogen Monoxide isn't really the common scientific name for water. I was always partial to hydrogen hydroxide in chemistry but there are others.
So...color from now on??? Hmmm...?
Sunday, March 26, 2006
So Monday is early early early! See it here tonight on Sunday!
You know, I may just keep things in color as the coloring of the strip is no longer the time intensive part of the process. Oddly, it's the writing part that takes hours and hours.
Let me know what you guys think about staying in color...or colour if you prefer...
And lest we forget...
Friday, March 24, 2006
AT SOME POINT...
...I will build up a buffer of three to four weeks. Just not this week. But if I am to survive this must take place.
Oh and just so that you can't say that I didn't...
Monday, March 20, 2006
After about nine hours of solid sleep last night, I feel like myself again...which is to say paranoid, neurotic and generally irrational.
So look forward to two strips today and two more this week.
Friday, March 17, 2006
So I give you this...
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Note that the Archives already have pages for those days as well. Monday's is written...always a good start...and will be up some time...well...Monday.
Although which Monday I cannot say.
What? Grumbling? Be glad I offer only this and do not compound thine insult with hedgehogs!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
I won't miss a post because I'm 'tired'. I've been tired for three weeks now and that hasn't kept me out of the gym or away from my edit suite. After this, I look forward to getting the Vexx back on schedule and back online. I'm sorry about the delays but I assure you the comics do exist and they will be funny. If not, I refund all your money.
All of it.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I'll post it Friday, most likely, with Friday's as well. I have two written - which as you know is rare - but I'm under a work deadline that will not allow me to post tonight. Please accept my apology and as is the custom...that means both strips will be in color!
For now, take a look at some thumbnail sketches I did for Vexxarr's Hyperdrive Sabot. The final design is also there - slightly immature.
Rest assured that all three of this week's strips will be posted by Friday!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Let's just pretend that never happened...
Anyway. New Vexxarr in the offering. I hope you like the Marconians. Twenty brownie points to the first person who can tell me why they are called Marconians.
100 brownie points to the person that can then tell me if I've spelled it right.
10,000 brownie points to the person who sends me actual BROWNIES (the food - not the proto Girl Scout).
So you have your homework. Get to it!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I will be putting hand-drawn art on eBay this coming week. If you would be interested in bidding, let me know! If you would be interested in buying original artwork, tell me!
Thank you all and please - get some sleep for me.
Friday, February 10, 2006
So, next week, new story. Seems like Vexxarr is picking up quite the menagerie. I promise it won't become Yogi's ark or something stupid. I will say that there is yet another character in the works. I'll spoil nothing but I'll give you a hint: sesquicentennial...
Read on dear readers and I'll see you Monday!
Please contact/annoy/ chastise me in our resplendent FORUMS...
Sunday, February 05, 2006
So here is Vexxarr for Monday the 6th. I'll try to get the archives up too...but the way the firewall is acting, don't hold your breath.
Monday, January 30, 2006
I'm doing three videos for three separate clients. I have a lot of work to do and barely have enough time to squeeze in Vexxarr. You hear me? I barely have time but I DO have time.
Vexxarr will be late but in color (as is the habit now) and you will get your thrice weekly dose of alien goodness.
My solemn vow: So long as Vexxarr is in publication, you WILL get three strips a week. When you look at the archives, there will be a strip there for every M W and F of the calendar year. If they are late, my sincere apologies but they will be there.
My goal on this project was to take on a graphic challenge that had me updating consistently three days a week in perpetuity. This will always be true. As I become more accustomed to the time it takes to post a strip, I promise they will start updating closer to the time they are supposed to update - as soon as I get to the end of the current (oh so appreciated) freelance projects.
...or until I die.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Vexxarr is up only a DAY late which is above par for the past several strips. He's still color and I may just keep it that way...
As for my mental health I have found that I no longer need sleep and am now embarking upon a program of late night exercise. Often kangaroo Arizona cellphone to turquoise when mice explode. They moot council hamster radio Einstein to Florida. Popsicle credit card baboon?
Friday, January 27, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
Color again. Even Colour for those across the Atlantic. I'm not ready to switch to full color yet as it takes twice as long to finish a strip...but in time, who knows?
So enjoy the fall of Shlumpy and look forward to Wednesday's strip!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I decree it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I'll see about dropping some chroma on you Friday...
Monday, January 09, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
Thank you ALL for your kind words of concern and well wishes..and erm...Halo... I cannot describe how they made me feel. I can. Noticed. You all made me feel noticed. I say that not out of irony but all good human faith. Thank you all.
Now as a token of my returned friendship to you. A special Vexxarr. This strip is presented in scratch and sniff for scratch-and-sniff equipped Lynix users...on Mars.