Friday, December 30, 2005

New Vex!

And it's a little large...And my Host is a little slow...So bear with.

And don't forget - there will be a special Vexx tomorrow for New Years!

Stay tuned!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Macon Georgia Shoot Delays Comic!

Due to a shoot in Macon Georgia, Vexxarr will update on Friday. I'll be back and ready to scan this year's penultimate Vexxarr! That's in next-to-last! Stay tuned for a very special Vexxarr Saturday, December 31, 2005 AD.

It will be extra long...and in color...and scratch and sniff...and stuff.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

And it is...if a bid damp and rainy here on the East Coast. Narrowly averting a molten chocolate disaster, I was able to present my family with plump, chocolatey stockings. One wonders who thought of hanging combustible garments over a FIRE and who would further suggest the storage of volatile confectionery therein. Anyway, all is well if a bit SOFT.

I'm hoping that all (both of) my readers enjoy my special Holiday Greeting Card. It is not to alienate my dearest and closest friends who celebrate Hanuka or Agnostica or even Diet Mountain Dew Code Red... It is just to remind readers that this is a Holiday and that Vexxarr is himself green and red.

So a Merry Feasting to all and to all a good Holiday. Take cheer. Take Heart. Take an aspirin before the festivities. I am told that it helps.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Three Minutes To Spare

Some poor resident of Deertick Wyoming was issued a reprieve at exactly 11:57pm Friday, December 23rd. Vexxarr is up and Monday's is preloaded in advance. You'll have your Xmas Vexxarr up and exactly on time. I'll be working Thursday, December 29th so Fridays will either be up Thursday night or Late Friday night. It will be up.

The storyline will be wrapping up by new years so expect some actual plot. Perhaps a thread or two.

I was heartened when NPR finally covered the Sony DRM XCP2 debacle. I was sickened, however when I realized that NPR entirely missed the point, the threat and the whole concept of the problem. Their take was that the XCP2 software interfered with the way Windows users were able to use or listen to the music on the infected CD's. They missed entirely that the XCP2 software opened a security hole that invited concealed trojans and that the removal tool opened a permanent and possibly irreversible security hole.

Way to go NPR. Consider completing that GED and pursuing a career in auto detailing.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

This Weekend's Schedule

Friday's Vexxarr is ready! But...I packed my computer.


Friday's will be up late Friday. It's funny...I promise. Monday's will be up Monday. On time. Really. It's one of my favorite strips for many months now.


I'll be preparing this year's storyline for The Vexxarr Book. Which will be available in early 2006. The working title for which is "Vexxarr Kills Some Trees". It is highly unlikely that the first Vexxarr book will actually be published under this title but...hell, you never know.

And to the family and friends of whichever poor bastard is currently on the hook in Deertick Wyoming. I'll do my best to update Tomorrow before midnight. If I fail, I'll be sure to send a fruitcake. Maybe two.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I'm Not Borrowing From Scott Kurtz...

I'm stealing from him. PVP and all his efforts represent, in my opinion, the very best of what web comics are and can be. I'm an avid fan of Scott and I've always stood by his polish, his writing (which is what really makes a cartoonist stand out) and his style. Scott Kurtz is a class act. And I'm not just saying that because I stole his punchline. But I did steal his punchline...


Good artists borrow. Great ones steal.

Well, I'll get there...some day...

By the way, the TITLE of today's strip is "SERENITY"

Monday, December 19, 2005

The Greater Threat

Let's be clear here.

I own and shop Sony products all the time. I watch Sony movies (which I purchase on DVD despite some very dishonest tactics to encourage just this kind of behavior) and I use Sony products professionally...that is I did until recently. Yes, my Tivo-esque machine in my livingroom - little more than a PC with tuner capability - has been root hacked! The culprit? The CD Switchfoot published by Sony Music. What this means is that I cannot install other audio players (the fact that the DRM will prevent installation of iTunes 6 is well documented) and I have no control over who remotely can access my machine. In short, I have to reformat, scrub and reinstall Windows.

This is unquestionably Sony's fault.

The kicker? I don't OWN Switchfoot. My friend did. He placed it in the CD tray when I was away from the PC. The DRM scheme installed itself (without - by the way - the promised popup and EULA which Sony claims appears with the installation). So I have been hit by the Sony DRM virus and I didn't even buy a Sony Music CD. Worse still, because I don't own the CD, I can't even join the various class actions being levied for just this behavior.

Look, it's time we show the media industries that we too have a say in what is legal and illegal. We too can say how media is used and shared. The United States legal system at least is still a two way street. They can take actions, we can take actions. Legal ones.

What I suggest is simple and it will take very little time. First, read bout what is happening with this recent debacle. Second, find out how it has affected you. Third, contact both Sony and First 4 Internet and tell them how you feel. Do so in writing or call their corporate offices. Lastly, shop alternatives.

Sony makes a good product. Sony used to make a great product. It is a happy coincidence that right now, Sony has been thoroughly trumped in the HD television, DV video, HDV video and professional video markets. If you shop and feel that Sony is the only true solution for your needs, then I have no argument. You at least weighed your options. I insist, however that if you look, you will find that other manufacturers have done their homework and offer superior products to Sony in every product line.

Just make sure that you talk about how you feel. Make sure Sony hears you. If this isn't addressed now, the message will be that we accept this kind of behavior and that message will be to loud to shout down.

The Sony Corporation of America offices are located at 550 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10022.

Monday, December 12, 2005

The Great Deertick Massacre Continues...

Once again, I have lost connectivity to my server. Vexxarr will be up a bit late but up nonetheless. Vexxarr was down this weekend. For that I apologize. My host who treats me like his only customer was prompt and communicative about the problem and had things aright in no time. The delay in his reaction was entirely my fault and not representative of the care and attention I get from him.

Thanks, Ian.

And while I do my best to manage the Deertick Wyoming population explosion, I do my last minute shopping and gifting online.

The holidays are upon us!


Friday, December 09, 2005

Back on schedule

Everything seems to be ticking away. I'll have something new for you Monday barring catastrophe. Of course this depends on your definition OF catastrophe. Vexxarr could arguably be considered a catastrophe.

Friday, December 02, 2005

FTP failure! Comic to follow!

It's 2am. Friday's Vexxarr is ready...I just can't upload now. I'll go to bed and just assume the problem will clear up by morning.

Thanks for waiting and as always, my apologies to the folk in Deertick.

...Like lambs to the slaughter, I swear.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Wed's Vexxarr is up.

Friday's later tonight.

And a correction. My case mod Dell XPS D333 is actually named Event Horizon (hard drives named: Black Hole, Point Mass and Singularity). I changed the name after I reinstalled the OS and changed mo boards...

I'm such a geek.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

New Vexxarr Thursday!

Vexxarr is on paper and ready to scan! You see, I don't own a notebook PC...or a notebook Mac (the very idea!). What I have is a growing family of desktops.

I have the TiVo-like PC in my livingroom named Vexxarr. No I don't do the strip there, I use Vexxarr for digital recording and playback of movies, television shows and - well - browsing the internet with friends on a Sony Wega 36" television (Red vs Blue looks AWESOME on a Wega and you haven't lived until you've seen Strongbad Email on a 36" screen).

Next to Vexxarr sits Big Mac my Dual 2.5 G5 with Final Cut Pro 4.5 HD. It is On Big Mac (hard drive Fries and Fire Wire Drive Shake) that I earn my living...when it isn't freezing or spontaneously deleting files (error: unknown file - click OK to continue?). Big Mac is used exclusively for editing HD NTSC and DV NTSC video. Nothing else...lest it become

Downstairs I have Elder God - my single processor 3.1ghz monster in a tower case (he's an all front case mod - everything: VGA, DVI USB, Firewire, Ethernet, Printer, DVD drives...everything is on the front - only the power cable comes out of the back). Elder God is my gaming/graphics/video encoding and conversion box.

Next to Elder God is Singularity, my Windows 98 box and life support system for my apparently immortal Umax Vista S8. Singularity started life as a Dell Dimension XPS D333 with an Intel P2 processor. When the motherboard died, I made another case mod (of course) and now Singularity is an AMD 1Ghz with an MSI motherboard and a hacked power switch and hard drive light circuit board (not surprisingly, I found the wiring diagram on the internet).

And on top of Singularity sits Pilfered. Pilfered is an old AMD 660mhz with PCI VGA graphics output. It has my old rolodex from work on it and all of my client contact information. Recently, I pulled the chassis of an old Vectorscope from my parts library and built a compact case for Pilfered. Pilfered is now a small rectangle, roughly 18"x8"x6" and is all side...well...mostly side. Anyway, it's as small as I could make an ATX standard computer and it sits under its monitor. It is Pilfered that I have in my hotel room and it is pilfered that I am updating Vexxarr's blog with right now.

While none of these computers has the polish and sophistication of a laptop, none of them cost me more than $400 either. And since I'm taking my Xbox with me anyway, I might as well throw in a PC the size of a loaf of bread (see, most hotel rooms prevent you from connecting your game system to their TV so I always bring a modest Batesias LCD monitor with s-video inputs).

And there you have it. A glimpse into the ugly world of Hunter's casemods.

And Vexxarr will be updated tomorrow around 6pm EST (3pm Pacific). Friday's will update at 2am EST as usual.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Wednesday to post Thursday!

I'm in Utah. That's the beginning and end of it folks. I'm in Utah and no matter how hard I whine, I'm still about 1500 miles from my scanner. Oh the Wednesday Vexxarr will be done. I have five hours on an airplane to make sure that happens. But it won't be laid betwixt the scanning plates of my Venerable Umax Vista S8 until Thursday at 4:30pm. But when that happens - look out!

Oh and my apologies in advance to that poor, poor bastard in Deertick Wyoming. It has to be like some kind of lottery of the damned over there - waiting for my update.

Oh well, Wyoming. It's not like anybody actually LIVES there, right?

Saturday, November 26, 2005


And a late Vexxarr for the 25th... To the family of that poor guy in Deertick Wyoming - I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault. As you see, I have a comic up now ostensibly for the 25th. If you guys in the Midwest want to jump the gun every time I have to push the strip a day, don't come crying to me.

Now next week, I have a job in Utah. I don't know why. This means that I will do two strips for Monday. Either I will post them both or find someone to upload Wednesdays strip on time. Either way, I'll be back in town Thursday so Vexxarr will continue it's three strip a week reign of terror.

The Turkey was good, by the way. The gym was brutal and unforgiving. It may be the only place on earth grown men are allowed to cry openly.

I did.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Travel Day!

Today I hit the road to visit my parents in North Carolina. The best part is driving for hours with no apparent destination. Wait... Ok, there is no best part. There are only lots of smaller not quite so bad parts.


The point is: read Vexxarr and enjoy. Friday may be late but it will be posted. Do you hear me? IT WILL BE POSTED.

I will have some form of comic up for every day this strip is officially running or someone from Deertick Wyoming will die. Such is the gravity of my dedication.

Also, I need more feedback. I write and draw a screwed up strip like today and no one tells me "Dude, you are help." These are things I need to hear. If you like a strip, please let me know. I need to understand the rarity of my success so that I may treasure the moments when I bring a tiny spark of joy into somebody's life. Also, I get lonely here in my basement.

Now, I'm off to the gym for a pre-emptive but ultimately futile battle with assorted 45 pound plates in an effort to stave off THANKSGIVING: THE BLOATING. See, it's a little known fact that a brutal and relentless chest day before any major holiday negates any and all calories eaten for the next 48-hour period. Don't look at me like this - it's true.

And for those of you unfamiliar with obscure American traditional holidays, Chest Day is the day when American males celebrate the bench press as the answer to all their other physical shortcomings. It is traditionally on a Monday or any day immediately before an all-you-can-eat buffet. True adherents to the religion also include Leg Day as the termination of festivities known collectively as "The week of futile exercise in an effort to impress girlfriends past". This is followed by a wake and an entire day of walking like you have weasels in your shoes.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The 16th is posted! The 18th will be on schedule...

Ok, Got this one up and it actually makes me giggle. Maybe that's because I can hear the delivery in my head. I always imagine a sort of New York minimalist delivery on my one line gags.



In other newts, I have gotten the distinct feeling that you guys really, really want shirts. Now you know how I feel about So I'm being serious about giving a shout out to a more reputable shirt printer. I've contacted people here and am currently working the problem. Nudity, as they say, is not an option.

...on second thought... But I digress.

I'm going to put a topic in the forum for you guys to sound off. I want sizes, cuts and if possible what you'd like to see as a price. Mark that, what your tolerate as a price as I won't be able to get shirts in such a small order as cheap as I'd like.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

As usual, a late Vexxarr for Wednesday...

I'm working on three separate long-format videos at the moment. Deadlines Thursday and Monday. Worse yet, I had to visit a friend's facility to gain access to his digibeta deck for a couple of shots...and brought the wrong tape. I made two trips.


It's 4:00am and I'll Vexx you guys up in the morning. For those of you in Australia or somesuch, this means nothing. Vexxarr will be there when you get up just as always.

See you after four hours of sleep!


Monday, November 14, 2005

T-Shirts and books

I know I've made a lot of noise about T-shirtery around these posts. The truth is that given my current readership (and I'm sure that every one of you would buy Vexxarr wearables) T-shirt printing requires a respectable capital outlay. This takes into account many factors including but not limited to: using actual silk screen printers, three color design, high quality black shirts, various sizes... The list goes on.

So I leave this in your hands. If any one of you can get me a shirt printer who works in quantities of under, say, 200 and is affordable at that rate, please let me know. I'll drop the cash and get these things to you faster than you can make me the new beneficiary to your collective insurance policies.

Books, however... Well, books are another matter altogether. Thanks to a little service known as I will be able to get printed versions of the Vexter not long after I hit strip number 200 (today's was number 140 for those of you keeping score at home).

Lulu scores over other online printing entities on several levels: they are affordable, they accept .doc .pdf and other text formats, they are NOT, they don't want to "help me market and distribute" my works. Seems to good to be true. But they seem to offer a quality product at a price you can afford and with which I can actually supplement this site.

So the status is currently: T-shirts pending. Books imminent.

Let me know what you think.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Sony Aids and Abets Virus Authors

Yep. The first Virus to use Sony BMG's RootKit exploit is if full swing. While Sony maintains that "the [rootkit] component is not malicious and does not compromise security..." virus authors had no trouble applying a thick layer of egg over Sony's face. The Stinx-E trojan hit British email address yesterday proving that Sony was either lying or being an idiot. Honestly, which is worse?

American Taliban!

Pat Robertson is the the head cleric of the American Taliban, I swear. First he claims that secularism and homosexuality brought down the twin towers in the September Eleventh terrorist attack, then he thinks enough of himself to dictate US foreign policy with regard to Venezuela. Now he is warning the residents of the good state Pennsylvania that they were no longer in the protective light of God for voting out their corrupt school board.

We need to be careful of these fundamentalist religious progressives euphemistically referred to as 'Christian Conservatives'. They are not technically true political conservatives because actual Conservatives stand for a limited government which keeps out of the private affairs of its citizens. Remember that - that's a key point. Robertson and his cohorts on the other hand want to build an intrusive religious oligarchy where their religious doctrine control matters of law and liberty. Worse still, Robertson feels good enough about his in with God to place himself at the top of the fundimentalist dog-plie.

Still, is Taliban too strong a term for Robertson and his fundimentalist lackies? Consider: he's already calling for religious assassination of his enemies. How long before he starts promising the favor of God in return for overt works in service to Robertson's own political goals?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Freelancing and Planning Ahead

Ok, Got you Monday's strip. Now Wednesdays strip has to be done before dawn Wednesday. Today's strip - for those paying attention in the dead of the night was posted AT DAWN. This cannot continue. The problem is that I freelance and as such, I have to do the work I am handed whenever it is handed to me. So, why not do Vexxarr in advance during my free time? Well, the answer of course is that I have no free time. Imagine looking down a calendar and knowing that you know where you will be and what you will be doing every minute of every day for twenty-one days. It's like the army without all that snappy dressing.

My streak of work is at an end so after this week, I get some slack. It's feast or famine ladies and gents...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Late update for November 7th...

Due to layovers, and computer stuff, I'll be a bit late with the Vexin' this Monday. So check back in the PM (my time) and I'll have your expected alien goodness...

Sorry and bless you all for checking in on me!


Thursday, November 03, 2005

Early Update for November 4th

I'm out of town for the weekend you go!

I'll be back Sunday for our normal malaise...

See you then!

Intellectual Honesty

Truth is, Sony has been on my bad side for a long time. First, their premier HD field monitor was a turd. I apologize for that blunt description but when you have a smelly useless bundle of waste material, I call it what it is.

Again, let me clarify: the Sony BVM D9H5U is the worlds greatest paperweight. It has poor clarity, the SDI input card costs just about what the whole monitor sells for and its battery interface is like some kind of sick joke. This was Sony saying 'we don't actually know what an HD field monitor looks like but someone once described one to us in a bar...while intoxicated...both of us intoxicated...and one of us was speaking Flemish.'

Ad this to the fact that their entre' to the HDV market was intentionally crippled so as 'not to undermine their professional HD market'. And you have a company which, after YEARS of respect, I have just started to feel 'icky' about.

So when I threaten to stop dealing with Sony on a professional level, I may be stretching a point. For the moment, Sony is losing the consumer, prosumer and professional HD war. I fully expect them to rally within the next 5-10 years and regain their leader status but for now, they aspire to underwhelm.

Remember SONY: Soon Only Not Yet

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


You heard right! Sony is guilty of writing and distribution a Trojan that may constitute a violation of the U.S. Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. Sony has secretly installed a form of malware, known as a 'rootkit', on any PC that loaded a music CD infected with First 4's new DRM scheme.

A criminal act under this US law is defined as any code which: "knowingly causes the transmission of a program ... and as a result of such conduct, intentionally causes damage, without authorization, to a protected computer." This rootkit, which indiscriminately hides the contents of a private hard drive from its owner, clearly violates this statute.

The new First 4 cloaking function is a type of DRM designed to hide anything saved with a file name beginning with $sys$. Try this with a copy of a small program - notepad for example - and if the new file vanishes from your are infected.

You can get this Trojan root from the Sony BMG CD Get Right With the Man by the Van Zant brothers. There are doubtless other infected CD's. My advice is that no SONY CD is safe.

Sony claims that it will discontinue use of this rootkit in future releases. For my part, until Sony either puts a warning in bold print on any CD label containing this malware or publishes and maintains a comprehensive list of the media containing this Trojan in a public forum, I am done with Sony.

My camera of choice is the Panasonic DVX100a. My next camera purchase will be the Panasonic HVX200 and I shoot professionally with the Panasonic AJHD 27f so I can say with all honesty that this is no hollow threat. Sony, you are off my vendor's list. Goodbye.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


I've pissed you guys off enough to start a fight! Take it to the forums, boys! More room, better formatting and besides, IT'S GREEN!

Friday, September 30, 2005



Forget the anemic Return OF The Sith. THIS is the Summer movie you have been waiting all year to see. Acting, story, pacing, dialogue...I can sum it all up in one word. Wow. Just, wow.

We laughed, we cried, we held our breath and we stood and cheered on our feet at times. Serenity is the movie that reminds you why you pay $8.00 US and up to sit in crowded houses with crying children.

Best of all, Joss Wedon brought us the magic of Firefly, magnified several times for the big screen. We weren't forced to endure spurious "big name" walk-ons or additional characters brought in by the studios to "add box office cred"... We got Firefly, big and with both barrels...

So go see this film. Now! This very moment! Leave work. Better yet, call in sick. RSVP that funeral. Tell your fiance that you'll have to reschedule. It's JUST THAT GOOD.

So Let's tell the Fox Network to gun HOE-tze bee DIO-se... We all know Fox is the moron of all programming morons. But if they can't take advantage of an obvious revenue stream like Firefly, then the shareholders need to send the suits packing. Fire those myopic bedwetters and hire some grown-ups willing to actually run a company. Someone willing to sit at the grown-up's table, as it were.

So let's recap... Serenity is the movie you've wanted to see for years. Fox Network is criminally stupid. Jane may be my favorite Joss Wedon character EVER.


...Dumbledore dies...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Is in the details. I made a number of corrections to a number of careless errors on today's strip. Who else gives you such service? Kurtz? McDonald's? The Pentagon?

I'm not a cartoonist by trade (can you tell) but I am a comedy writer. So enjoy my offerings within that singular context. I thank those that happened on my flyer and joined me this week. I promise that there are many wonderful things in the works. Not all of them dealing with last night's pizza. Stay tuned.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Welcome new readers!

This is Vexxarr, a thrice weekly, comedy strip spinning a yarn of galactic conquest of inept proportions. I update every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and if you stick around, you'll see that the story is actually going somewhere. As such, on rare occasion, you will have to read back a few strips to collect the context of a given punchline, such as they are. In general, we are following Vexxarr and his mislaid plans to conquer the Earth for the honor and glory of Bleen and the Mighty Bleen Empire. Suffice to say, Bleen may have sent the wrong, er, man for the job. Or maybe...not.

At any rate, thank you for stopping by. Read on and please drop me a line or visit the forum to speak your mind!

Saturday, September 17, 2005


The Nintendo rant has been moved to - where else? - RANTS!

The comments bandied back and forth, remain below for your amusement.

Friday, September 16, 2005

By way of an apology...

Color! Doesn't make up for being late, does it? Still...Color!

Computer Issues...

Vexxarr 105 is on the way! Sorry, an unrelated meltdown on my Mac G5 (so, so reliable) lead to a crisis involving my home network. As soon as I get my machines talking to each other again, NEW VEXXARR!

Sorry for the delay. Bear with me.


The Management

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


I had a wonderful time at Dragon Con and got to actually hang out and drink with persons of television notoriety. This all but makes up for the fact that we were 1) Booted 2) Robbed and 3) Falsely Threatened with Imprisonment.

Let me be more specific:

It is my opinion based on information gathered by A) Atlanta Law Enforcement B) the surrounding Hotels C) the person subcontracted to place and remove wheel boots and D) the man on the street that Central Parking - specifically in the lot on 126 Baker Street, Downtown Atlanta - is booting cars with out-of-state-tags and in effect holding them hostage for money.

The facts are as follows:

We arrived and parked at the lot on 126 Baker Street in Atlanta at 4:20pm Friday the 2nd of September.

Two witnesses saw me place our cash in the slot for our spot - #12

A note with the lot number was place around the money with our space number (again, #12)

I used the little 'rammer key' to 'ram' the money into the slot.

I checked to make sure said monies had disappeared behind the metal flange (I always do)

According to the booting subcontractor, the boot was placed at or around 4:30pm THAT DAY.

I will add here that the hotels were suspicious. The police were suspicious. When questioned, the dude who worked at the bar next door said they were crooks.

Currently, I am working with the police, the BBB and the Department of Licensing and Permits to see what's up. There are a million reasons why this could all be an innocent misunderstanding. Yet I feel that something here is amiss.

In either case, I was told that removing a privately owned boot was a felony. I believe that this refers to removing and keeping the boot, which would constitute grand theft and indeed a felony. My legal advice team (neighbors) assured me that simply removing the boot would only carry whatever penalties were associated with parking and not paying for my time on the lot. Civilians cannot charge you with a felony.

Bottom line. I'll keep everyone updated. And don't use Central Parking in Atlanta - especially on 126 Baker Street.


For those of you clever enough to decrypt my previous posts, you know I was at Dragon Con. There, I was given a special gift by a good friend. I don't want to give away details but I will say that picture are forthcoming.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

101 On The Way...

I had a slight computer hiccup. The strip is done. I'll post before noon. Thanks for understanding! Except you. Yes, you! I see you! What was that? I saw that! COME BACK HERE!

Monday, September 05, 2005

100 !

One-hundred strips! Who knew such a thing was possible? And it feels like only yesterday that I was getting regular sleep. To commemorate this occasion, I have brought color to your favorite strip...and this one too. Don't get used to it. I plan to go right back to good old B&W tomorrow. Consider this my gift to you. I sure do...

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Labor Day Lateness!

There will be a Vexx on Labor day... It may just be a little late. Like Midnight late. I'll be at Dragon Con till Monday around 6pm, then I'll drive back to Alabama. Then I'll make your Vexxarr for you. Labor Day will mark my 100th strip. This is a milestone of sorts. I will oficially have done 95 more strips than everyone told me I would do. Look kids, when I finally decide to do something, I'm in for the duration. While I can look forward and see a day when I no longer write and draw Vexxarr, I can tell you that day will only come after a long and rather involved story has been brought to you in its entirity. Vexxarr is going places. There is more to the defeat of the Bleen fleet above Earth than just a minor setback for the Emperor. Oh the stories I will tell. Oh the bad punchlines you will endure.

Glorious...truly glorious...

Sunday, August 28, 2005

To those living in Louisiana

Having exhausted all my hopes and best wishes, you have my prayers.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Almost no update...

I wrote, drew and posted last night's strip at 2:30am Friday morning. See what I go through for you kids? I'm editing a local TV special and it has taken three days and nights of my life and...thrown them away! All this and I still can't bring myself to miss an update. I'm home now, the deadline came and went. We counter-to-countered the final product and now I will sleep for two days.

Only waking to update the mighty Vex.

Such is my life...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

A new week

And I've already downloaded my Stargates and Galactica. Long live the Torrent! There is a new RANT in the rants section...It was WAY to long to place here so I just went ahead and posted it where it would eventually be warehoused anyway. It's likely to spark some debate. But I have far too little time to debate the issue so just take my position for what it is worth and talk amongst yourselves...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Who is this hu-mon and what does he hope to gain?

I mean the utter gall! He uses MY name and then spells it all wrong and stuff. He even has a resume!

I will now cry - alone in the dark.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Refresh Your Browser!

As is often the case, I post the comic in a state of frantic desperation in the wee hours of the morning only to awaken the next day and do a few final 'tweaks'. Such is my dedication to you. Mr. Kurtz, on the other hand figures that if the strip is posted before Midnight the following day, it isn't really late, is it? I kid Mr. Kurtz because he has a keen sense of humor and his readership is larger than the population of Canada...

Anyway, Mr. Kurtz was one of the main proponents of webcomics as a dynamic medium. In other words, it's very nature allows publications to be updated live as you read. Some have lamented that this leads to billions of broken links and a sense that the web is an unreliable source for facts - a criticism with which I agree to a point. But it also establishes the internet as a very contemporary medium, in the literal sense of the word. It is a medium that we, as a collective species, actually own.

So refresh your browser to see the alterations which, in my delirium last night, I could not complete. Also skip back a day to see some of my other revisionist activities. I am insidious.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Mighty Mouse?

Apple unveiled a 3-Button Mouse just in time for it's 3-Button version of Final Cut 5 (psst... Final Cut has ALWAYS been 3-button compliant by the way). Anyway, this new "Mighty Mouse" clocks in at $50.00 US and has a nipple standing in for the wheel found on most human mice. As a G-5 user and editor by profession, I can recommend with confidence that everyone just save $30.00 and buy any of the 3-button wheeled mice available at your local electronics store.

I understand that it was inevitable and perhaps necessary for Apple to release a 3 button mouse but why did they feel the need to 'innovate' ? The reason that all other 3-button mice look and function in a similar way is that human ergonomics demand a pretty well defined set of features. We can debate joysticks, trackballs and pointers all day long but a mouse is going to look and feel a certain way as long as you are serious about using the damn thing for sixteen hours at a stretch.

But then there is Apple. Apple HAS to be different. For Steve Jobs to push a product, it HAS to be different. It doesn't have to actually function...but it has to be different. This is the man who wanted to completely replace the logical file structure of OS X with a dedicated search feature. Why open the folder where you KNOW your files are stored when you can just type in several keywords to search your files EVERY TIME YOU NEED THEM.

I find it odd that the man who arguably invented the Mac seems to have never actually used one. Well used one for actual WORK at any rate.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Quiet...almost TOO quiet.

The Vexxarr machine rolls on like an old Chevy that you inherited because your Grandparents are too old to drive. Sure your friends make fun of it but I don't see THEM offering rides to the mall on weekends...

But I digress.

It's Monday and apart from my usual big toe pickery, this means taking stock of my week to come. Looking at my calendar, I couldn't help but notice that I have no life. Except Tuesday. I always wash socks on Tuesday. Anyway, I thought I'd point out the forums. Nothing interesting in the forums today. Partially, I suppose because your kids are too darn lazy to ever visit them! But it'd be nice to hear from you once in awhile. And turn up the heat. It's cold.

What time is it?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


I see that you guys start hitting your refresh button around 1am my time here in Alabama. As you may well know, I update (God help me) around 3am CST US. I'm trying my best to get back to my Midnight - 1am schedule but as a freelancer, I find myself at the hands of an unscrupulous Mac from 8am through 9pm most days. Add in trips to the gym, food and Conker's and you find me sitting down to the Vexter at about midnight.

By the way, many have asked and YES, I am indeed the Mac Guy from that video the kids are so crazy about. Yes, everything I said in the short is accurate, just some of it relates to OS 9 and some of it OS X. It's a bit jumbled. Anyway, there you have it. And a new comic. What the hell are YOU doing up at 3am reading my webcomic for anyway? Go to bed!

Monday, July 25, 2005

It's like a game we play...

Those amoral nasties are back - even if in a less impressive form - so Vexxarr responds. Really, my heart and thoughts go out to you guys. I know that as silly as it sounds, just knowing that you have friends out there - anywhere - actually helps. The green guy is pulling for you.

On a lighter note. Stargate SG-1 premiered and while the cast change is unsettling, the writing is the center of the show's strength and I can report that it remains strong. With Beau Bridges and Louis Gossett Jr. Joining the cast, the show might actually sink under the weight of all those golden statuettes these actors bring with them. As for Farscape fans, the inclusion of Claudia Black and Ben Browder should actually give you heart. First, you know where your cast is in the event of a second Farscape movie and second, you know they are at least EATING.

Over in Atlantis, SG-1's sister show, the reprise of a minor character as (hopefully) a recurring supporting one is par for the course and always a welcome surprise. The look and feel of both shows continues to impress me considering the actual monies involved (and in Canadian Dollars no less).

And of course one misses Galactica at one's own immense peril...

Robot Chicken's season finale was a tear-jerker wherein we discover that the show is indeed cancelled! ...but not really.

And the Wedding Crashers is a comedy that you should really, really drop everything and go see.


You think I'm kidding? GO! NOW!

Monday, July 18, 2005

As promised

So the Union Jack is shelved until Liberation Day or whenever they finish the Red Dwarf movie (it could happen). But for the time being (an appreciative sort of fellow if a bit codgerly) I have placed a banner and link to we are not afraid. peruse the image vaults there for some nutty and heartfelt defiance in the face of the London (Nodnol) bombings.

People have been asking lately if I am British. Nope, I'm American but I take our friendship very seriously and want my buddies across the water there to know that I at least read, watch and cheer for them whenever such occasion warrants cheering.

We owe a great debt to the country that gave the world reliable clocks, Eddie Izzard and Gerry Anderson.

Monday, July 11, 2005

The new look.

Yes, the Union Jack down there and in my banner is tribute to those who died in the pointless and cowardly bombings last week in London. I'm not sure what those idiots thought they were trying to prove by murdering tourists and children. The English resolve under these circumstances is somewhat well known.

For that matter, last I checked, if someone wanted to illicit political change from within a country through terror, they made clear the specific source of the terror so people at least knew who to be afraid of.

"Brother, has the bombing weakened the spirit of our enemy?"

"Yes, brother, the infidels have pulled out of Sweden..."

But then again, we seem to be entering a period when the destruction and loss of human life has become the mission in itself. I'm not sure that these people actually want anything specific any longer.

I'll keep the colors in my banner up for the week then return to the normal black and white for a fresh start next week. Assuming of course that other gallant freedom fighters don't target aggressive daycare centers or ravenous woman's shoe shops in the meantime.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

It's Like Saving Private Ryan - With Martians!

Before seeing War Of The Worlds with the much-maligned Tom Cruise, I have to admit that I had kept my hopes down. Reviews were poor to middling and alien invasion movies like ID4 had left a really nasty taste in my mouth. When I eventually made the afternoon showing with friends (not in the death grip of cynicism) I was surprised - moved in fact. This was not the film I had expected at all. Well, let me qualify that. This is WOTW, after all - there are no real narrative surprises. This is the H G Wells novel beginning to end. Both prolog and coda are voiced masterfully by Morgan Freeman. Surprisingly little was changed from the original text.

Still, the film that unfolds within the framework of this classic prose is, in a word, unsettling. I've described it to friends as Saving Private Ryan with aliens. It's a no-holds-barred exploration of man-meets-unstoppable-alien-menace and they are both unstoppable and menacing. Independence Day (ID4) was so full for spectacular pyrotechnics and whoopla that it was difficult to associate the fantastic light show with the toll in human life. Here, with WOTW, we see human tragedy meted out, person by person, by means of a meandering disintegration beam. It makes human beings go 'pop'. Neat, clinical and utterly, utterly revolting.

My favorite image from the movie has to be Tom Cruise and his panicked neighbors fleeing the tripod menace amidst a gentle, drifting shower of the torn clothing previously worn by disintegrated victims. The full scale of the catastrophe and Cruise's terror become clear when we encounter a surviving news crew. After a full day of wading through the wreckage and destruction of the Jersey Tripod, Tom sees taped footage of attacks on Washington and Los Angeles. Tom's only comment is "There's more than one?!"

WOTW is filled with both adaptation of and allusion to both the book and the classic film. Throughout, Director Steven Spielberg drives home the point that we are at the losing end of an extremely asymmetrical conflict. There is literally nothing we posses which can address the seamless power of the alien war machines. "When the tripods start moving, there's no more news from that area..."

We follow Cruise from town to town as he and his children flee the coalescing alien menace. We see the US military make an awesome stand against the alien war machines but to no avail. We wind up in the same farmhouse that served as the focus of the George Pal film's third act. Through it all we are only allowed to see as much and as little as one man would have been able to see himself. The ending of the film arrives exactly as expected and is no less satisfying for the certainty. It actually comes as a sort of relief.

There is one satisfying moment that celebrates the value of human tenacity wherein beleaguered soldiers get a crack at an unshielded tripod. While the scene seems somewhat tacked on and perhaps a bit patronizing, it is certainly a moment well earned by an audience held witness to two hours of wholesale human extermination on a personal level. While the closing moments of Spielberg's WOTW lack the whitewash scenes of churchgoers mobbing cathedrals like a Tokyo subway at rush-hour, Wells and Mr. Freeman are there to remind us of God's roll in our deliverance from alien extermination.

By the end of the film, I was spent. What I had seen was, in a word, unsettling. I felt just as I had after watching the fall of Baghdad for six hours straight. I had to keep reminding myself that the world was still intact and that the Teamsters at the Jersey docks had not lost even a day of work. Spielberg had taken my hand and walked me through a personal tour of all but total human annihilation. The toll, according to Mr. Freeman (with apologies to H G) was over a billion souls.

I can't say that this was a 'good film' in the sense that films of substance and importance often are. What I can say is that WOTW is a moving film in exactly the way that 'good films' often fail to be. WOTW for its part did remind me how fragile our world is. And how little it would take to rip its interlocking systems asunder. I was recently asked to hit WOTW for a second viewing. There is no doubt; I'll have to see this one again. But at the time I was asked, I wasn't ready. I needed a little more time in the sunlight with the world as it is before revisiting the dark and relentless cautionary of what it could so easily become.

Monday, July 04, 2005

The 4th of July

As I notice, dear readers, that you hale from all parts of the globe I must apologize for my 4th of July antics. This is the day in which Americans band together and try to make cows extinct by means of heat and mastication. For my part, I'm enjoying a day off and looking forward to a few well earned hours of Conker's Live and Reloaded. I'll try not to leave anyone out and offer some Bastille Day silliness as well. I can make no solid promises for Brigit's Day or Oimelc...but I'll do my level best.

On a brighter note. My war with Pepsico and their lagging production of Diet Code Red seems to have rounded the corner. I now note that local gocers stock their shelves with Diet Code Red 3 to 1 over Just Plane Old Code Red and 2 to 1 over Diet Vanilla Pepsi. I appreciate your hard work in this victory. Now work harder!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Inner-Child Support

Yes, basically buying a T-Shirt would be inner child support. I didn't start the comic as a financial endeavor but selling these shirts would go a long way toward keeping it running in a more timely manner. If, for example, I were able to rely on rent and utilities from this comic, I would go daily, stop bathing and never cut my toenails again. Ok, so there are trade-offs here. But Seriously, I want to sell the shirts so that more people can enjoy the comic and express their inner alien. Or robot. Whichever. The first offering will likely be a cute Vexxarr center front and the sales will go toward a second order of Minionbot and some more sizes to both.

I'm going to accept payments through paypal and mail order and I'll let you all know when the artwork is finalized.

Thanks and my inner-child wants more Diet Code Red.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

T-Shirts: The Skinny

Ok, here is what I have.

1) Multiple plaintive cries from you - the reader - asking for Vexxarr wardrobe to amaze your friends...

2) I have a quote from a local vendor for handsome, durable, 2-color silkscreen shirts

3) My projected cost per shirt will be $18.00 plus postage (I will be mailing these shirts myself)

4) My first order will be of one design: either Vexxarr front, center or Minionbot front, center

5) These shirts will be Black Hanes Beefy Tees

6) I need to know who wants one (pictures to be posted soon, very soon)

Speak to me. Tell me of your wishes.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Hideous Car!

I give you the Pontiac Aztek:

Also, I moved the Penny Arcade/Scott McCloud rant to...well...Rants. Go figure.

Friday, June 24, 2005

More Ass Kissing Please

I am in the throws of organizing a store for Vexxarr. I have many requests for swag including - but not limited to - T-shirts and Posters. So, what I would ask of you, dear readers is to let me know what sorts of things you would like and what sizes should they come in. I fear cafe press like the coming of the dark lord sith so I am still exploring alternate methods of distribution. Likely I will have the items in question printed locally and take payments via Paypal. Anyone else have any suggestions? There is even a forum thread where you can place requests. My forums, for those of you not participating, are reached via the 'community' link up top there.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sorry for the clip show...

Last night I was back from a long road job very late. It was all I could do to pen the 'funny' and so I resorted to a clip art comic to fit the script. Today behold the glory that is a fresh penned comic....over at Sluggy Freelance. Also notice that I actually drew original art for the comic today as well.

Hope you like it. Running gags are my speciality.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Too Many Arms

It seems to me that I am finding it harder and harder to place all six of Vexxarr's appendages. The back two in particular nearly always seem to be placed in obscurity or merely indicated by lumps. I feel in some way I have failed you all...

Friday, June 03, 2005

Word Games Again

v. im.pact.ed,, im.pacts (m-pkt)
v. tr.
  1. To pack firmly together.
  2. To strike forcefully: meteorites impacting the lunar surface.
  3. Usage Problem. To have an effect or impact on: "No region... has been more impacted by emerging demographic and economic trends" (Joel Kotkin).
I thought it might be fun to take on the literate media. Then again, What do I know?

Monday, May 30, 2005

Puttin' In the Time

Ya know, I guess I shouldn't feel so bad when I update at 6:00am. Mr Kurtz isn't even out of bed yet! Still most of my hits happen before 9:00am so I better keep at it.

Also, I looked into selling my original strips. Lately, they are so fragmented or sparse, don't think you'd be getting your dollars worth. I tend to draw 2 or more separate pages then scan them in individually so as to combine the layers in photoshop. We've come a long way since Peanuts.


I hope I didn't give the impression that I had gotten up at 6:am to beat Mr Kurtz to an update. I MEANT TO SAY THAT I WAS AWAKE UNTIL 6:00am DRAWING AND PUBLISHING A STRIP FOR YOU! Such is the depth of my love. That and I played Halo 2 till 2am at our weekly Sunday LAN party. You haven't lived until you've been in a room with 13 'grown' men and women all playing one game and swearing like sailors. You girls can really put tarnish on the copper when you want to!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A point of clarification



Any of various invertebrate animals of the phylum Cnidaria, characterized by a radially symmetrical body with a saclike internal cavity, and including the jellyfishes, hydras, sea anemones, and corals. Also called coelenterate.

Of, relating to, or belonging to the phylum Cnidaria.

See? And you thought that Web comics couldn't be educational...

Monday, May 23, 2005

Knew I had forgotten something...

Vexxarr was watching TV. But what would Vexxarr watch? Also note that since Steven Spielburg is now making his version, you'd better get used to this one playing nonstop on AMC and Encore...and Sci-Fi come to think of it...

Hiccup again

But Vexxarr is back up and stable. Thanks again to Ian and his ready service at Radiant Web hosting and web design for space support and his private number. Which I shall not abuse on weekends unless I am lonely.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Who's your buddy?

I'm taking a survey of your favorite character. Take a look and let me know who(m) you love. Remember, T-Shirts could be riding on your decision!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

New strips, old promises...

I offer you Friday's strip. It is a delicate morsel with a mild nose and slight piquant. I also would like to direct you to the forums where I would ask you to sound off and let me know how I am doing. I do plan to improve the site here and increase the offerings beyond a few, tired desktops. It seems I will have to make peace with my arch nemesis, Cafe Press if I ever want to offer a Vexxarr Baby-doll T. Also, I plan to sell the library of original artwork which has become my reference bible. Such are the lengths I am willing to go to please you, my esteemed audience.

Such is the depth of my poverty.

Raman noodles?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

FTP, SFTP..Potahto...

I switched to SFTP for my Blog updates and blammo. I'm back in action. Don't know why. Never needed secure FTP before. Like so much in the blog-o-sphere I care not nor do I understand. Blog God wants and so he gets. So Vexxarr is back and updates will continue apace. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your patience and understanding. Oh and tell your friends that Vexxarr did NOT vanish ..."just like all those other web comics..."


I'm back!

But as the new IP address propagates, it will take some time for things to get back to normal. In the intervening period, I would ask that all of you purge your internet cash or use control+reload to make sure you are viewing the live Vexxarr page. Oh, and Blogger is updating a blank news.html page in my web directory. Oh it publishes archives and all the bells and whistles but the index news.html is a blank document - every time. 0 kb

So if you have any ideas...I'm open.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Like an albatross...

So I wake up to find my domain host has left the state and not paid his bills... I'll keep posting Vexxarr for you M W and F but it may be some time until the site runs smoothly. I will be living at Directnic until I can find a cheap, reliable host. If you have any suggestions LET ME KNOW!

Friday, May 13, 2005

Hey Microsoft !

Ok, we all saw that MTV thingy that ran last night which alluded to the possible existence of a product which bears a mild resemblance to the next Xbox console. My only question is this: What the hell? Why did you spend those millions and millions of dollars to tell us what all biped tool-users already know: Microsoft plans to make an Xbox 2. From information released in the MTV special, we can safely add the following datum:

-It may have a name.

-It may feature some form of interface for viewing pretty pictures.

- It will have a camera so that we will be able to share images of our genitals with the rest of the gaming community.

- Likely it will be made of normal matter (although from the MTV special, sparse use of anti-protons can NOT be ruled out).

To this end, blowing a billion dollars through the MTV cash colon did nothing to add to the information, anticipation or potential sales of this hypothetical product.

Strong words you say?

Let me put it to you this way. The people who watch MTV are either too young to work, too stoned to work or work for MTV. Those of us with enough cashflow to purchase the Xbox 2 (or whatever) read. We don't even know where MTV is on our dish systems. We use our bittorent bandwidth to download LOST. Basically, Microsoft, you fired your 50 caliber media cannons in the wrong direction. You needed to aim more in this direction. Oh, and we tend to enjoy actual data.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Scanner UP, DSL DOWN...

No sooner do I Frankenstein my Dell XPS D333 into a AMD 1.8 Ghz beast with an MSI motherboard, than my DSL simply drops out. Frantic calls to Earthlink soon reveal the cause of my distress... BellSouth. "How can BellSouth be the cause of my woe if I have Earthlink DSL," you ask? Because BellSouth owns the copper that my DSL travels to get from Earthlink to Eldergod, my computer. Yet as I do not pay for BellSouth DSL, they are rather testy when asked to check my circuit for trouble. In Fact, they inform me that they have no obligation whatsoever to the service of my third-party DSL. So I am left with no choice but to entrust Earthlink to the task of righting my DSL which makes me a sort of go-between for Earthlink whenever BellSouth has a question about my line. Why can't BellSouth just talk to me then bill Earthlink. We'd all get a lot more sleep.

But as I stated before, vile and awesome...

Well, vile at any rate. So Wednesday, a brand new Vexxarr with bells on. I promise. Hey, at least I didn't just throw in the towel!


Saturday, May 07, 2005

Would you believe?

I slapped my two hard drives onto a brand new MSI mobo with an AMD CPU and 512 megs of ram and Windows 98 BOOTED!

As proof I offer this:

That's my old XPS D333 motherboard which was replaced by my new MSI KT6V.

I knew I could get the system up again, but I just assumed I'd have to reinstall Windows. So now my 'Dell' is faster and the old Umax Vista S8 is back up and running.

New Vexxarr Monday!

Thursday, May 05, 2005


While I don't enjoy putting together a cut and paste strip for you (I much rather draw each one more or less by hand). I have to say that I've been impressed with the three missives I have presented for you this week. I just want you kids to know how much I try for you. Some times I actually put on clothes for the affair...

According to FedEx - God of all persons forced to suffer under the economic heel of tiny third world nations such as Birmingham, Alabama - my motherboard, memory and processor should arrive tomorrow. What follows should be a working Win 98 2 ed operating system and then, as if by causality, my scanner.

Also, I am thinking about putting a Pay Pal button up so that you folks can purchase (and therefore pay ME for) original Vexxarr artwork. I will place a "buy this strip" button under each archived strip and allow you - the consumer - to exchange actual money for my Cro-magnon scrawlings.

I might even do requests.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

A Moment Of Silence

...for my Dell Dimension XPS D333 who passed peacefully in the night last Sunday. As the XPS D333 was my Windows 98 2nd Ed box and my Umax Vista S8 only runs with Windows 98, I find myself without a scanner for the moment. "The solution," you no doubt are saying to yourself "is to buy a new motherboard, AMD CPU and 512 megs of fresh ram to place in the old Dell case to resurrect my hard drives and scsi card." So that is exactly what I am doing. Why buy a cheap stripped down box that I could install my 98 2ed on when I can buy a dubious motherboard, play with an aging ATX power supply and try my hand with my first OEM Athlon CPU?

I mean honestly?

I will be happy if I can cram this Frankenstein into the old Dell case and have my original installation of 98 running at 1.8 Ghz. I've become so adept at reinstallation of OS's that I can get 2000 into a box with all patches, software, drivers and codecs in under four hours. How hard can 98 2ed be?

I'll let you know Friday.

And yes, Friday will be an other cut and paste strip as well. I'll try not to make it too obvious.
At least the writing is fresh...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Back From Pensacola

And a long but rewarding shoot. I slept maybe 12 hours over four days but I managed to keep Vexxarr on schedule. Many thanks to all the offers of help from friends local and afar. I'll keep you in mind next time I'm away. Also, I'd like to offer the possibility of guest strips to those of you so inclined. It would be fun to see how you guys look at Vexxarr.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

This Week

I've been especially proud of the strip this week. Not only have I been able to move the story along, I have two strips with stories told in large part without the words in them. My favorite single image is the panel with Vexx alone in the dark, watching TV. In my mind he's watching Jerry Springer...but it could just as easily be A&E as far as Vexxarr is concerned.

Sunday, April 24, 2005


Funny how the being you create in your comicverse isn't the being you eventually come to write week after week. Minionbot, whom I created as a simple foil for Vexxarr's sarcasm and wit has become a powerful plot driving force in his (its) own right. Minionbot has become a materialistic narcissist with a proclivity toward world domination (which as Kristofer Straub will tell you is the base state of all robotic consciousness). Honestly I hadn't intended Minionbot to become so shallow and strong willed at the same time. But now Minionbot's character is well rooted and Minionbot writes Minionbot.

Is there a short pronoun for a sexless being?

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I apologize for the big file size

But I liked the photographic background. Don't get used to it. I like drawing the military doo dads too much. Also look for more cameos by new, almost new and theoretical military hardware. Also the Bleen are not yet gone and not nearly forgotten.

Also I will be on the road from the 26th through the 30th. SO either I need a guest web update wizard (my tip of the hat to Mr. Pratchett) for Wednesday and Friday OR I will post the whole shebang on Tuesday.

Let me know what you think.

Monday, April 18, 2005


Go see Sahara. Now. Don't sit there and look at me...GO! Now! What? You think I'm kidding? Do I look like I'm kidding? Does this 30-ought-six look like I'm kidding? GO NOW!

Sahara may be the single best film in theaters at the moment. It's a straight adventure with a tight, well thought-out script, good character development and a story that, while not exactly plausible does make sense every step along the way. They also managed to destroy the hero-sidekick paradigm. This is a team-buddy picture where both characters have their center, their strengths and presence. And it's funny - funny in the way that makes you laugh. Out loud. IN PUBLIC! When is the last time you did THAT? It's been since...well...Ghostbusters for me.


See it.

* ka-click *


Hooray for work?

I went in today for what was supposed to be a couple of hours of edit on a local TV show. Basically I've been out all day. You can't tell your client "no...I have to go update my online comic..." Best I could manage was, "Of course I can color correct every single second of your fine program." And so I did. And here is my strip. Updated in the final 15 minutes of April 18th... I need to get a day ahead again so I can vanish into the beast of freelance employment and not risk missing an update. Expect Wednesday's comic on Wednesday. Expect a superfluous D in Wednesday.

* sigh *

Mondays are slow...

And so shall it be with Vexxarr. Due to a conspiratorial series of events, The strip shall be posted around noon CST. Even as I pen this I feel the hot glare of Scott Kurtz as he repeats "you see now how I feel now..." over and over.

But he never misses an long as date is taken to mean in 24 hour period. So shall Vexxarr also blaze forth before the day is long unfolded.

This I promise.

This and a new spell check. And a Vexxarr Poster of some kind. Eventually. Really.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Off Model

I've been lazy about keeping vexxarr and Minionbot on model as it were. This is my new effort to not drift as much during ink. I've been trying to go to ink sooner than I have in the past and not totally nail down the artwork in pencil. The result has been positive and negative. For example, the soldier on 4/11/05 - Too Much Information - was just a scribble and I think I like the the energy of the free inks on him. However, Vexxarr keeps taking on an almost Vaughn Bode aspect. Something I'm fascinated by but not what I had intended.

Looking at the last panel of 4/13/05 - Into The Ground - I really like the perspective and composition of Minionbot, the soldier and the tank. I like that you get an oblique slice of the tank yet you can tell from the detail and obtuse angles that it is an Abrams (an M1a2 no less). That last panel was penciled down to the canister projector just below the mast. And I like how the inks reinforce the detail.

So I'm in an odd place. I have never been a proficient inker yet I am known fro my detailed illustrations. Part of this little exercise was to take on a project that returned me to the drafting table and kept me there. I needed a long-term project hat required small discreet applications of my talent. Enough to be a challenge but not so much that I became mired in execution and never quite made it to publication.

So here we are. Month three and the story is just warming up. I still hope to tell a serious science fiction story in a funny way. If you stick with me, I promise it will be worth the ride.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Early Update!

God, what have I become? Well, not much to report other than working a great deal, which (as my friends will tell you) has NOT been the case in weeks past. So if you are wondering what I'm up to right now, all I can say is I have been running around in a frenzy, well paid for my time and forced to sign a Non Disclosure about my most recent job. Tomorrow, I need to get up early to shoot a golf show.

I hasten to add 'yippee...'

Anyway, I have made a deal with myself to update Vexxarr or die so here is the latest saga in "Hunter tries to make as many strips as possible ABOUT Vexxarr leaving the base BEFORE he actually LEAVES the base." Today's strip is dedicated to my love of the running gag. But you knew that. I AM a running gag. And it is nearly two hours early. Actually, as it is not yet 4:00am, it is SIX hours early.


Wednesday, April 06, 2005


So I updated Vexxarr a full one hour before midnight.

I apologize. It won't happen again.

I know I don't often share here so I'm going to open a little window into my life for you.

Get some snacks. This may take awhile.

I have a bad back. I tore various dorsal muscles while working art department in L.A. some years back. One of those lifting twelve-by flats with a friend, walking backwards, I stop and he doesn't - sort of things. Suffice to say life hasn't been the same since.

Well as often happens in the Spring, my back has been acting up. So come leg day at the gym, I decide to lay off. I skip like two turns at legs in one month. Then this past Monday I felt up to giving legs a try. So I go in, wear my belt and take a turn in the old squat cage as is my habit. The warm up weight feels ok, so I do a full set with starting weight. So far so good. While I know I haven't worked legs in about two weeks and I should probably take it easy...I none the less decide to just do my normal set, normal reps and normal weight. I do however take extra care with my form, stay on my heels, yadda yadda yadda... All goes well.

Or so it would seem.

Next morning, I get up. The back is fine. I shower and begin to get ready for a meeting. As I stand up from my computer chair I discover something odd. My leg muscles - particularly the quadriceps and hamstrings - have been surgically removed while I was asleep. In their place I discover ingenious mechanisms crafted solely for the purpose of inducing pain directly into my central nervous system by way of induction. They aren't sore so much as saturated with jagged shards of glass. Walking isn't so much a chore as it is a kinetic exchange of alternating pain threshold experiments somehow harnessed into a form of random locomotion. When I bend at the knees I actually see the color GREEN.

So I just walk with long strides and punctuate each step with the sort of vocabulary that might elicit a severe look from Lenny Bruce.

The worse part is, my legs are going to be in agony for several days. They only way to shorten the duration of the pain is to hit them again with squats in four days. Imagine if you will a drug which is unpleasant to take, has no recreational side effects but provides the sort of withdrawal that one would expect when forcing a pit bull to give up FOOD - cold turkey.

I'm going to go lie down now and listen to my legs hurt for awhile.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

April Fools...

Yes...I had to. The comic - for those of you easily discouraged - lies beneath the Warholesque visible Vexxarr quadrant. Please enjoy.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Get Offa My Lawn!

Ok you ingrates... No strip for today! I'm just not up to it! Feh!

As much as I hate to do this...

Friday's strip will be up a bit late. It's written and drawn but I have a meeting with clients at 10:00am so I need to hit they hey. Funny thing is that drawing Vexxarr doesn't take as much time as I imagined. Writing these little ditties takes 4-8 hours. And even THEN I'm not funny...


So bear with me. Vexxarr will post Friday the 1st. I'll have more to say after the meeting.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Ask and ye shall receive...

So I'm watching FOX News Network and I notice, Shepard Smith of the FOX Report used the term "Suicide Bomber". Yes indeedy. You heard right, "Suicide Bomber".

I'm making waves now. Nice to know that I have such deep influence on national news agencies. This is just like that time I started the Chicago Blackout by whacking a telephone pole with a stick.

Boy THAT sucked...

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


I was informed that my rant about demand and light bulbs would not accept comments. That has been fixed. Comment away.

Wednesday is spelled with a 'n'

And so it is. My Fox homicide bomber rant was moved to a more appropriate location - RANTS. And I uploaded a new comic just por vous. Do not ask why Vexxarr was not scalded by the coffee he doused himself in. Maybe it was cold. Maybe he is not harmed by hot fluids. Maybe it was just funnier not examining the thermal exchange efficiency of green aliens...or I could be wrong about that. You be the judge

Either way, it looks like the Vexxarr - food mystery will soon be solved...or will it?


Oh Giffen and DeMatteis where are you when we need you?

Monday, March 28, 2005

Kleptruncta Majoris.

For those of you who wanted to see what the doctor saw...and wished he didn't. Here you go... Almost. I have toyed with the idea of a visible Vexxarr (a la Visible Frylock ) but wanted to do it justice. That is to say not while I'm about to fall asleep at 3:00am which is more often the case than I am comfortable admitting.

On Another matter, I was admonished recently for my spelling missives in my strip posted on the 21st of this month. I plead innocent on the grounds that my Microsoft Word and Lotus Write spell checkers both seemed to enjoy my alternative arrangement of the standard alphabet. Further investigation of online literacy resources seemed to indicate that there is now a growing confusion about how many words are actually spelled.

All I can say to these bastions of 'new education' is I have a hard enough time spelling words the "traditional" way. I don't need new "alternative accepted" spellings to further muddy the water. I like Spanish. Everything sounds like it is spelled. And the don't use the letter W. Odd really.

Well for her efforts...especially at 2:00am, I am grateful.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Tuesday, May 22nd

I opened a topic in the forums about FOX NEWS homicide bomber speak. I'd love to hear what you guys think. I'd love to HEAR from you guys. Honestly, I go to all the trouble to open a discussion board and all I get are recepies for strawberry muffins. No, actually I don't. But somewhere in my imagination I do. And they are soooo tasty...

Thursday, March 10, 2005

A gift to you...

I have uploaded the strip an entire hour early. This is my gift to you. Use it wisely.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Stargate Atlantis

I just watched the sweeps cliffhanger of SG Atlantis. Yes, from Sky One via bittorrent...

Anyway, you kids have a treat in store for you. It's one heck of a show and the writing, as always, is about the best on television - any genre.

I won't give anything away but one visual stands out from the many wonderful eyefeasts I enjoyed that episode. I will sum it up in one word: Baghdad !

Atlantis has proven itself to be as successful as Angel in the realm of genre spinoffs. I believe it has staying power beyond it's parent - Stargate SG1 - should SG1 ever decide to retire (God forbid).

Keep in mind my praise does not come easily. I'm a pretty tough sell with my science fiction. I don't stomache poorly thought out premises (Space Rangers) or hackneyed writing (Seaquest DSV). I like well supported, well thought out storytelling. But for a good science fiction yarn...well, I am always hungry.

I get my fill twice a week with the dual Gatesters.

Bahl be praised.

New! Today!

Improved archives! Link GIFs!! More Exclamation Points!!!

I finally made an archive main page. I don't have an archive 'BACK' link on each and every page so use your back button to return to the archives page from each archived comics page.


Oh, just go look and you'll see what I mean.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

New Strip Monday

But that has become olde hatt by now. Moved my last outburst of erudition to the rants section. Lordy, I should just put my rant section of the front page and let you guys meander over to the news if you have any further questions.

I'm watching Robot Chicken on Adult Swim these days. It is truly god-like. Why the networks don't air something like this is beyond me. Do hu-mons really prefer episodes of the Apprentice to stop motion dance competitions between Voltron and a Robeast with junk in the trunk? Really? ...sick world.

Still downloading Enterprise and Stargate(s) from the UK. Boy you guys have a treat in store for you... Stargate SG1 still moves forward with a bold determination seldom seen in shows its age (eight years). Atlantis does not feel at all like a hackneyed spin-off. It flaunts its writing prowess like a steroid crazed peacock in heat and never fails to make me laugh, cringe or want to cry. Sometimes all three at once. As for Enterprise, if you can't call it cannon, call it fun. Sad that it took near (and ultimately realized) cancellation to bring it to this bright sate of affairs.

Will we get Star Trek Excelsior now?

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

In case there was any question.

Those are rattan swords and yes, those are SCA members. If you don't know who or what the SCA is....just leave it that way.

Monday, February 28, 2005

I get like that sometimes...

My last rant has been moved to the RANTS section. Please read if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

So Honda really P'ed me O. It just sticks in my craw the way some companies - particularly ones I trust - do moronic things like produce a hybrid sedan with mileage less impressive than a standard compact car. I feel like I have no way to make my feelings (and I am arrogant enough to think that I am not alone) known to the corporations who stride above like giants unaware of the lesser beings who crawl below.

Well, let me know if I am 1) arrogant and 2) totally alone on this one. As a car owner who keeps his cars an average of twelve years, I can tell you my love of electric technology is based on purely selfish and practical matters. I for one hate buying a car then buying it again one piece at a time over the lifetime of the vehicle.

Sparkplugs...Show me the clown that thought THAT one up.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Punch Line

You have my most sincere apology. That's all I can say. More soon. And probably worse.


Monday, February 21, 2005

Still a little work to be done...

And I'll have posts for Monday and Wednesday up by Wednesday. I apologies for the delay. I frankly wasn't ready for the pageloads I got since Barry's help last week.

Thanks Barry and thanks all you guys who keep pouring in.

Vexxarr is here to stay!


Sunday, February 20, 2005

42 Hours and counting.

I come to you a man tired and largely delirious. As the title suggests, I've been awake for 42 (forty-two) hours and am just now starting the uncertain countdown to sleep. I have been a participant in the February Edition of the Sidewalk Scramble. For those of you fortunate enough to make an honest living, a scramble is a film festival where participants sign up to make films completely within a 48 hour period. As a charter member of Birmingham's own Team Happy Nowhere, I can say that I have been constantly, vitally and energetically awake for nearly two straight days. I have a five (yes five) minute short for my efforts and a sense of delirious euphoria.

It is for this reason that I announce the delay of Monday's Vexxarr. Probably till mid afternoon. Say teatime. So don't come elbowing into our abode Monday morning demanding thick slices of marbled alien-comic goodness. Eat your Muslix and then make a lunch date with the Bleen Armada, Earth Detachment. I will see you there.

Thanks for understanding and for your patience.

Hunter out.

Friday, February 18, 2005

And then again...

When it's 1:47am why not stay up until 4:00am and update the site? Right? Why not just come home from a long shoot, pop open a Diet Rite red raspberry and sketch, ink and Photoshop? Why not just watch the second run of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and fire up the old Umax Vista S8 and scan into your Dell P2 333 before copying the pages across the network to your P4 3.0Ghz for Photoshop editing? Why not adjust some text and word balloons in Photoshop (which does NOT offer full vector support no matter what it says) before resizing as a GIF? Then Why not crawl into bed at 5:00am and dream fitfully about the garbage men who sing Britney Spears while disassembling your $25.00 Walmart garbage can?

Because your head hurts in the morning as you drive around returning the light and grip package you rented the Tuesday before for the shoot that kept you out till 1:47am, that's why.

So enjoy your comic. NOW I have to get ready for a film scramble wherein my team will write, shoot, edit and master to DVD a short film in 48 hours.

Oh, and then get another comic ready for Monday, of course...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Down Time Blues

Yes we are down. Or in the case of those reading this HAVE BEEN DOWN. Please forgive the downtime, I'm working out my server issues and my host has been quite gracious and responsive. Please send any business inquires to - this is a service that responds personally when you call for help.

Anyway, I've been happy with the number of new visitors. I'll have T-Shirts and stickers next week for those of you who consume such things. Also look for better desktop themes.

And as always thank you so much. Let me know what you think about Mr. Vexxarr.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Just so you know...

The double arrows on the far left below the comic will take you to the very start. On any archived comic the double arrows will take you either to the first or the last comic.
I thought this was an established convention. But I guess I should have mentioned it.


Welcome everybody kind enough to drop by from InkTank. Barry was kind enough to link me and now I have new first time viewers. Vexxarr is very young and I'm still very much in the process of finding his center. I can promise a science fiction comedy that does have an evolving plot. I'm going to keep the four-panel format and I think I like the grayscale.

So please bookmark me, check the progress and hopefully, enjoy the ride. I'll be here every M,W and F so stay tuned. And please, please let me know what you think...

Friday, February 11, 2005

A Writer's prerogative...

Yeah, I looked at the punch line again and I just wasn't feeling it. I'm not much on colon jokes to begin with and despite what Doc might presume, Vexxarr DOESN'T have any external plumbing. So rather than end with the "poop chute" (with deference to Mr. Hanks) I thought I'd go a slightly higher and slightly more esoteric road and let your imaginations go where they may.

I have to imagine that an eye exam might bear a more heightened sense of foreboding for Vexxarr then we might experience. Otherwise, I'm not sure Earth medicine offers him much in the way of fear.

Friday 2:25am

See what I do for you kids?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Clip Shows...yay! ...yay ? YAY !

I just finished watching Stargate SG 1 episode 15 of season 8, "Citizen Joe". How? I use bittorrent - see below. But my point in telling you this is that "Citizen Joe underscores the writing powerhouse that is Stargate. This week's episode is "Full Alert", so "Citizen Joe" will air in the US in three weeks.

I will post no spoilers here save one - "Citizen Joe" is a clip show. For those of you who don't speak TV addict, a "clip show" is an episode comprised in whole or in part of clips from previous episodes. They exist either to save money or bring an audience up to speed on a complex storyline. "Citizen Joe" does both.

The difference here is that "Citizen Joe" is a Stargate clip show which, while recapping important plot points nicely also manages to tell an engrossing and amusing story which has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the clips themselves. Also, it is NOT a retrospective. The story is entirely new and introduces new and engaging characters.

So now you ask, "How can a clip show (which is shot on the cheap) not be a retrospective?" My only answer is this is Stargate SG 1 baby! These writers know how to take a convention and turn it on its ear. The show is hilarious, touching, original and takes ugly potshots at itself in the manner of "Wormhole Extreme" and "Window Of Opportunity" (the ground hog's day episode).

"Citizen Joe" stands on the writing (and of course the acting) alone and manages to be one of the best episodes of the season. All this from a clip show. Writers of American television, take note, THIS is what lies at the essence of storytelling: three dimensional characters and story driven conflict. In a story devoid of most of the flashy trappings that the networks BELIEVE attract viewers, I was glued to my seat fro 48 minutes (no commercials, you see).

So enjoy "Full Alert" (it opens with ten of the funniest minutes of Stargate - ever) but DO NOT MISS "Citizen Joe". And unless I miss my guess, we may have a new continuing character -

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Om Nom Nom Nom Nom...

I've decided to add a little intrigue. Don't look for any quick solution to this mystery...

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Three Days I tell You!

I am starting to realize that my readers - precious few though they may - be are only checking for updates about midweek. I just want to remind everyone that I update Monday, Wednesday and Friday with a heaping bowl of comic goodness. Now it may be that my graphic stylings do not warrant your perusal thrice weekly. If that is the case then I am well served. But if you drop by Tuesday or Wednesday because you fear that those are the only days my Vexxarr kitchen is open, rejoice! The soup lines are serving yet two additional days!

OK, now I've bent the metaphor so far that even I don't remember what I was talking about...

OK, to recap, I like soup. Vexxarr updates three times a week.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Out with the Old in with the New

For those of you who remember Robotech and Carl Macek ( depending on who you ask, the man responsible either for butchering anime or bringing it to America in the first place )... Shoji Kawamori (creator of Macross mechanical designs) has a new show - EUREKA SEVEN . It looks wonderful...assuming it doesn't get transliterated by an enterprising distributor trying to make it 'more palatable' to a US audience.

But you didn't hear that from me...

And sadly, Enterprise has been cancelled. Well, I say cancelled but what has ACTUALLY happened is that UPN has opted not to renew it for a fifth season and we will get all of the current season. Who knows, we may get a series finale.

We shall see.

I am hearing from many of you out there that Minionbot is the breakaway favorite of my little warped menagerie. Fear not, he is easy to write for and easy to DRAW so there is no risk of an early demise for our rebellious little robot.

Monday, January 31, 2005

It's Monday.

Nothing to add. Just thought that the posting from yesterday necessitated an update. Can't have a blog entitled "It's Sunday" up on Monday now can I?


Now I've started a tradition...

Sunday, January 30, 2005

It's Sunday.

So I'm thinking about tomorrow's strip. Whether to create a new strip or post the one intended for tomorrow. Yes, so far I do work in advance. In other news, I moved my post about The Lord's Gym to the Rants section. It probably belongs there. I don't really know why I bothered with a rant on that particular bit of Americana. It falls into the "so funny I need to bring you proof that it really exists" category.

Friday, January 28, 2005


I'd like to point out that - so far - a fair amount of research goes into making each strip of Vexxarr. For example, the flight suit seen here...

No thats NOT Christain Slater

comes from the SR-71 picture gallery available over at I chose this particular picture as my model.

jaunty pilot flies mach 4

Also, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a picture of an air force Colonel's uniform online. I finally folded and went to the Stargate SG-1 website and copied General Hammond's. Turns out, it was a fairly accurate costume. I couldn't find a good picture of the 'scrambled eggs' on the hat brim so I fudged. Note that I reduced the air force emblem on the front of the hat to an oblong circle.

Also, I must have wasted a good hour plugging 'X-craft' designations into Google until I arrived at a number high enough to be a plausible black project. I didn't want to re christen Vexxarr's command ship the X-45 only to wind up sharing a project number with a sort of unmanned, composite boomerang.

Late again...but for the right reasons!

But I assure you it was because I was working on the strip...not avoiding working on the strip. You must understand the rigors of quality control Vexxarr goes through before he is unleashed on the world. First, the site must be visible. I feel that appearing in the visible spectrum is a much-overlooked aspect of successful cartooning. I understand that Penny Arcade has experimented with strips appearing exclusively in the microwave bandwidth but the numbers generated turned out to be somewhat lower than hoped.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I want my bit TV

Ok, here it is. Out in the open like a naked Echidna. I get my broadcast TV from Bit Torrent. I seek out and download every episodic program I want to watch. I then burn them to CD and play them on my living room TV on a PC of my own construction. I have codecs pouring out of my ears. I have a computer who's sole task is to play multimedia content directly through my home entertainment center. One interesting side effect is the ability to surf the web with company and play web animations and display webcomics to a mass audience - SITTING ON A COMFY SOFA!

But the point of this is not to display my immense cleverness (or my decrepit geekiness) but rather to highlight a dilemma. Most if not all of my TV shows come without commercials (I don't torrent movies - why would I? Walmart sells feature films cheaper than beer - new OUT OF THE BOX!). I am VERY aware that my programming is paid for by broadcast commercials. So even if my torrent activity doesn't conclusively violate any broadcast laws I am circumventing the payment method which allows me to view them. Look I'd download these shows (Galactica redux, SG1, SG Atlantis, Venture Brothers, JL Unlimited, Enterprise) even if they were encoded with commercials by the internet elves who provide them. But even then, advertisers would lose the ability to place ads in the specific markets they are trying to reach. Solution? Heck if I know. But I don't think the answer lies in the prohibition of sharing broadcast television (that is to say television distributed to a mass audience with no discreet control over who watches it) over the internet. Somehow, advertisers and broadcasters alike will have to join the no broadcast model and find ways of pairing their market with the intended adverts.

While Ronald D. Moore worries that file sharing the episodes early will reduce their eventual veiwership in the US his concerns would be better directed at the fact that conventional broadcast of his (Galactica) immensely popular show clearly doesn't satisfy the typical US Sci Fi viewer. Maybe, just maybe Universal and the rest of the American Entertainment Ludites should find a way to distribute, count and tag (advertise on) these file shared children of their creations. Anyone who is familiar with the current bidding model of network television advertising knows that the current standard method is all but utterly ineffective.

So I still download. I'll still definitely buy the DVD's when they come out. And I'll still count myself as a (Galactica, Atlantis, Venture Bros) viewer even though I don't use my Dish to view them.

By the way, I LOVE the new Galactica - I just don't buy the process of re-imagining. This Galactica is simply a brand new Sci Fi show with a hauntingly familiar name.

Monday, January 24, 2005

My Dog ate my HOMEWORK!

Ok, so I've had my first late update to Vexxarr. Usually no big news but it still makes me feel stupid. I had to place a service call into Earthlink where a nice man - some twelve hours ahead of me - tells me that Earthlink's DNS tables are either corrupted or need to be refreshed. Well actually he gives me a direct DNS number and from THAT I infer that Earthlink cannot get me a refreshed version of their DNS list...via the standard working method.

Either way, Vexxarr was updated at 12 noon EST making me feel like a slacker. Funny thing. Vexx isn't that tough to produce (so far) so actually creating the comic hasn't been an issue...yet. I am following the K.I.S.S. paradigm for this project. And I will not stray from its sheltered path.

Anyway... New Vexx up. Hope you like it. Email me if you do. Hit the empty (oh so painfully empty) forums if you don't. Either way, let me know what you think.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Dude you gotta get a CLUE!

In one of the current Christmas adds (inexplicably still running) for Dell computers, we get to peek in on a child asking his dad for his dream system from Dell. Dad asks for a "Model number" and his son launches into a litany of geek speak - enumerating the actual components he wishes his dream computer to contain. OK, so far so good. I am that kid for all intents and purposes. Anyone who has built a home PC knows and loves this part. It's the silicone equivalent of popping the hood on your '57 Woody and comparing block sizes. But among the stream of desired components is listed an "Express PCI Graphics card". Ok every geek in the room just made the sour lemon face. This kid wants the sort of system that will make every child in the neighborhood rush over to his house and bask in the warm soft glow of digital sex in the window (my apologies to Mr. Jean Parker Shepherd) yet he asks for a piece of 2nd tier graphics technology.

For those of you who don't know - All PC's - except for the hobbled minimalist systems found in Bank Branches and insurance company cubical farms - have an AGP slot for the graphics card. Think of this as a direct connection between the computer's brain and your monitor. Basically an AGP graphics card - again standard in almost all systems - is a fire hose for pretty pictures. By comparison, a PCI graphics card uses a standard peripheral slot (the PCI slot) to operate the monitor. This means that the monitor is being served its information in line with the rest of the rabble the computer talks to - Ethernet card, dial up modem, fire wire card, USB card and the likes and has to wait its turn. Yes PCI video cards work just fine and dandy for most applications but it is definitely a sub par video adapter for computer gaming and lets face it - from the other components listed in this add, this kid yearns to frag.

So my point is this. We have a cute spot and a good idea but somewhere along the way, the writer forgot to actually ask a geek about the sort of components that actually go into making a 12-year-old's dream system. My guess? I bet the agency that wrote this pimple on the face of add-copy everywhere uses a Mac and simply cut and pasted random components from the Dell website into their script. Look, if you were planning to script an add that was going to air in every major market on Earth, wouldn't you think it prudent to ask your intended market if you got the fiddly details right before you pulled the trigger? I would.

And that's why I'm unemployed!